Monday, 11 December 2017

TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

There are times wives get angry for being monitored by their husbands. They think he is an hyper jealous, insecured, paranoid, psychotic twat! "How dare he? Does he think I'm cheating or what?" No, he knows you are not, he is just trying to help you.
Sometimes, if not most times, we women can be very naive when it comes to dealing with men. We think we are smart (and we are) but when it comes to dealing with some unscrupulous elements, trust me, you need the help of your dear husband. Men are logical, they know how to play on a woman's emotions while women are emotional and soft hearted. Same thing goes for woman to woman relationship that is destroying you and creating serious problems for you in your marriage.
Be opened with your husband. Put him at rest. Let him have easy access to all your chats and conversations. If there is no skeleton in your cupboard, there is no reason to keep any relationship secret from him whether with opposite sex or not. Secrecy is not allowed in any marriage that will last. If he approves some relationships, fine, go ahead with them, if not, end the relationship with immediate effect; it is toxic, dangerous and going no where to happen!
I once had a married friend who was aggressive, pushy, jealous of my husband and manipulative. He asked me to send personal pictures, wanted to come to my home, dominated my time and didn't want to hear about my husband. When I told him my husband loves me so much, he asked, "what about me?" Yet he claimed to be "born again", happily married, a servant of God and a marriage counsellor to tens of thousands of his followers! The day I told him my husband reads our converstion from the beginning to end he almost fainted. He quit the relationship voluntarily, blocked me on the social media and whined and cried about being "betrayed" and "misunderstood".
I do thesame thing for my husband, I let him know the relationships that are toxic and those beneficial whether with the same sex or opposite sex. We should be our brother's keeper in marriage. You don't know everything and you can't do everything by yourself, if you can, you don't need to get married.
Deal with toxic relationships, avoid dangerous relationships at all cost. Let your spouse help you, that is why they married you. Avoid secrecy in your marriage. God bless you. Cheers.
© Seun Oladele.

ARE YOU MISSING YOUR LOVER?

Have you ended an unwanted relationship yet you are missing your lover terribly? You are human, naughty things often happen to human beings.
Like a flash, you remembered those heart to heart talks, the sweet nothings, compliments, admiration, praise, help etc and your soul long to have that experience back though the relationship is wrong and you know it will ruin you if you go back? Like I said, we are humans and shit sometimes happen!
Perhaps it is the sex you missed, the romance, the cuddles, the touch and hugs, you are human, it is understandable.
Not withstanding, you must call your head back home! Temptations start with ideas, thoughts and imaginations, that's where you defeat it. You don't allow it to take root, you uproot it immediately! You get up from your couch, settee or sofa, pace around, pray in the spirit, say some positive words into your life until every evil thought leaves you.

If you are missing your lover boy/mistress terribly as a married person, deal with it. That is not the time to run towards your lover but towards your spouse!
Learn to face reality. This relationship won't do you any good that is why you ended it, don't go back to your vomit.
Pre-marital sex and extra-marital sex are some of the most damaging things you you can do in your relationship! You create soul tie that keeps haunting you years after the relationship has ended. It is the reason you are missing the sex and cuddles. Avoid illicit sex like plague! Never be caught dead in it!
Fill your mind daily with the word. When your mind is renewed you will not entertain sin and lust.
You will not fall into sexual temptation in Jesus' name. God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun.Oladele

ON HYMEN SAGA.

Thank God for the on going education on lost hymen, I mean, no hymen in some virgins, everyone is happy about the info. I've also written an expansive article on it and sure some virgins have no hymen but excuse me sister, before you go jubilating over some beautiful lies to cook to your fiance, know that the percentage of those who lack hymen are few, very very few.
In all my counselling years, I'm yet to meet or chat with a lady without hymen, they sure exist but I have not met one.
For guys who are worry sick about hymen. Pray that the good Lord gives you a truthful, honest lady because some ladies now have a powerful weapon to back their lies. You have slept with 10 guys, went on sexual fasting for a year plus, your vag closed up and you are now cooking some stories, is okay.
Brother, listen. You will know a virgin when you see one okay? Not all ladies tell lies. Honest virgins exist who will not sell their conscience for a wedding ring.
Here are the signs this lady is a virgin though on the wedding night you discover she lacked hymen.
1. SHYNESS: Virgins are shy when it comes to sexual matters especially for the first time. If she's looking straight into your eyeball, daring you, gazing with anticipation at your manhood and licking her fingers off ready to pounce on you, I doubt she is a true daughter of virgin Mary! Yes, we should be bold on the wedding night but come on, for a virgin, there are still some reservations.
2. IT'S TIGHT: few years of sexual fasting can tighten it but of course with a little difference. A virgin's holy of holies is tight, strong and firm. You will need some effort to pay a nice visit the first time.
3. WINCE: Because no one has ever passed through her door, you will notice some level of discomfort when you attempt to pass. She's shy, she's trying to cover (she's used to covering up all her life) at the same time trying to open up to you.
Some ladies are perfect actresses though but no matter how hard she tries, there are some things she can't fake.
Ladies, you will do well to always speak the truth so when he discovers hymen is missing, he will find it easy to believe you because you never tell lies but if you are a chronic, blatant, incorrigible, shameless and unrepentant liar, God Himself might need to come down and prove your innocence.
You will do yourself a great deal of favour to steer clear of necking, petting, romancing and pre-marital sex. Staying 100% pure will help you to prove your virginity without stress.
What's the big deal about virginity, is it important in marriage? How will you feel if you are the first and only man to "open" your wife's "eye"? Some trust issues are automatically cleared.
If you've had sex in the past, let your fiance know, so he can know what to expect on the wedding night. It also helps him respect and trust you for being honest and truthful. Men love honest women.
Your own husband will accept you the way you are, the wrong man will leave. Never force a man to marry you. Don't tell lies to win his love. It will backfire one day.
Be true to yourself and the Lord will favour you with your perfect soul mate at the right time. God bless you. 

Cheers!

© Seun Oladele

THE PROTECTIVE LIAR.

No, he is not out to harm anybody, he is just trying to protect his wife/fiancee.
She loves her husband and wouldn't dream of hurting him but the lies she told to protect him eventually tore her marriage to pieces!
Protective liars don't tell their spouse the truth for fear of hurting them though they themselves are hurting badly and are falling apart under the weight of a bad marriage.
For instance, this guy married a slimmy because he loves a slim body then after 2 or 3 kids his wife blew up! She kept adding several kilos every month, became grandma Moses and wouldn't leave junk food alone. Each time she asked him, "Honey, how do I look?" He would smile sweetly and reply "Perfect!" Though his brain was screaming horrible, terrible, awful, disgusting!
His logic is, 'if I correct her now, she will think I don't love her anymore especially now that she's a mummy of three kids. Let me just keep my mouth shut and play along' but his need for a slim woman wouldn't play along! Soon, he fell in love with a slim body at work, got enmeshed in a full blown affair and eventually wrecked his marriage!
If you ask the wife, "why did your husband have an affair?" She will tell you she doesn't know, they had a great marriage and he was the best husband in the world until 3 kids appeared from no where and a woman claimed he was their father.
Actually, he had known all along that his marriage wasn't what it used to be but he was too chicken hearted or egoistic to tell his wife.
Same for the woman who had deep financial needs but was afraid to tell her husband for fear of being seen as selfish, too demanding, unsympathetic and outright wicked. Everyone could see her husband was trying his best to provide for the family, why should she make extra demand on him? But her deep need to be financially taken care of won't leave her alone. She needs to look good, take good care of her children and have extra to extend to her ageing parents. So she kept mute and kept suffering in silence until a wealthy man came along, spoilt her with money and had an affair with her. That was the beginning of the end of her marriage. If her husband had asked her, "I hope you understand the situation of things?" She would smile sweetly, pat his back and tell him with full assurance she understands but behind him she is weeping profusely. She tells all who cares to listen her husband lacks ambition, would not strive to make more money and she and her children are suffering from poverty, hunger and neglect!
No marriage can survive on lies! You either sit your spouse down and tell them what is hurting you or you kiss your marriage goodbye! It's as simple as that.
A successful marriage is hard work. You can't build a marriage on negligence and apathy. You can't build it on pretences and lies. You can't pretend all is well when you are suffering greatly in marriage, if you do not communicate your needs in marriage, your marriage will hit the rocks! If you assume all is well and you believe all the lies your spouse feeds you though your gut feelings tell you something is wrong some where, you may wake with shock in a divorce court!
Successful couples communicates their needs honestly, sincerely, regularly and they work together to make their marriage better. You just have to work on honest communication, it is your greatest asset in marriage!
Outright lies will break your home! No one enjoys lies from their spouse. It is a grand trust breaker and a number one betrayal of love and trust in marriage! You are not protecting them from hurt, you are gradually preparing them for hurt! Lies don't get hidden forever. It sooner or later get exposed and your spouse will feel hurt, betrayed and disrespected for trusting you all along when you have been telling lies!



By Oladele Seun.

'HOW TO BE FREE FROM SIN'

"Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in the lusts therefore" - Romans 6:12
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The root cause of sin is in desire. Anyone that's not born again or walking in the Spirit will have a desire to sin. 
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Many people commit sin because they yield their bodies as an instrument of unrighteousness to sin (Rom. 6:13). If you allow your eyes to look at a woman to lust, then you have yielded your body as an instrument of unrighteousness to sin.
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You will commit sin when you satisfy its desire (Rom. 6:16). That your boyfriend or girlfriend demanded sex from you is not yet a sin, it's a suggestion but when you allow him or her to engage in indecent touches or erotic conversations which leads into premarital sex, then you have satisfy the sinful desire in you. However, frequent gratifying of your sinful desire makes you a servant of sin.
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If you will not commit sin, you must be dead to sin. A man that's dead (insensitive) to stealing can't be tempted to steal even when you lock him up in a room full with foreign cash. A man that's dead to fighting will never fight when he's provoked but would walk away.
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How can I be free from sin?
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BE BORN AGAIN. Going to church doesn't make you born again or that you're born into a Christian family. Being born again is being born with the nature of God and it's through water and spirit baptism.
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Water baptism makes you buried with Him into His death so that you can be raised into the newness of life. Spirit baptism empowers you to become the son and daughter of God.
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CRUCIFY THE FLESH. The best way to be dead to sin is to crucify your flesh, that is, put it to death. Sin is strengthened by the flesh. You can crucify your flesh by faith in the son of God (Gal. 2:20). Don't just confess it but pray it into actualization.
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WALK IN THE SPIRIT. To walk in the spirit is to obey the leading of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is always saying something to prevent you from sinning but if you do not obey Him, you'll fall into sin. When you walk in the Spirit always, you will never fulfill the lust of the flesh which is sin (Gal. 5:16).
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Prayer: Father, make me dead to sin and empower me to walk in the Spirit always in the name of Jesus.




By Adeniyi Tim Oluwamayowa.