Sunday, 22 May 2016

I am sorry I lied – Part 1 (The Man Speaks)

“I take you to be my lawfully wedded wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.”

“My darling wife, those were the words I said to you in the
presence of many witnesses on that beautiful Saturday. It was the most beautiful day of my life. No other day before or after can compare with that day. Standing before the love of my life and saying those words was magical.

“It’s been several years after and I am so sorry to tell you the truth. I lied. I promised to love you unconditionally but I’ve realized that I lied to you. Sweetheart, I tried, I really, really tried, but it just isn’t working.

“Sweetheart, you’ve got to help me here. I am human and I have my limitations. The first few years of our marriage were blissful. It was heaven on earth until you started playing those mind games with me. Rather than telling me what you wanted you expected me to just know. You expected me to just read your mind and know what you wanted. You have no idea how draining it was for me.

“Then the kids came and I could no longer tell my place in the family. Do I come before the kids or the kids before me? I could not tell if you were married to me or the kids. The kids became your excuse for everything. Even your dress sense changed and it was because of the kids.

“Honey, I know it was challenging. I know that, naturally, they needed a lot of your attention and I am really grateful for being the wonderful mother you are to them. But you are also my wife just as I am a father to them and a husband to you.

“The sex. Where do I even begin? It used to be a wow! moment. You were never ashamed to initiate it. Your hands were all over me just as I couldn’t get my hands off of you. I was sure you enjoyed it because you always told me. But those days seem to have gone. Now you are just like a log of wood waiting for me to be done so you can move on with your life. You just consent to it so it does not seem like you are not fulfilling your matrimonial duty. But it is more than just lying in bed.

“Your ambition. I have always known that you were going somewhere to happen and I loved you for it. There was a fire in you. You were purpose-driven then. Today, all I see in you is ambition. There is a difference between ambition and purpose. All you talk about is how to get to the top of the ladder.

“You’ve become so consumed with ambition I doubt if you even know the difference between purpose and ambition. You are so consumed with your ambition you can’t even see that we are falling apart. My input no longer counts. You ask for it but you go ahead to do whatever you want, anyway. I thought we were each other’s highest priority. I guess I was wrong.

“All these years, as I watched you become another woman, those words I said to you that Saturday morning kept coming to me. Can I really continue to do this “Unconditionally” thing? Maybe for someone I have no emotional feelings for. But for you, my darling, you are my everything and I want to be your everything, too. You’ve got to help me here because I finally realized that on that Saturday morning when I said those words to you, I lied to you. I am sorry I lied.”

Join me next Sunday to hear the woman’s response. I hope you had an interesting time reading this week’s article. If you are just encountering Mute’s Notes for the first time I will appreciate it if you can take out some time to read other articles on the page.

I want to also appreciate all those who post comments after reading and also share the articles on their walls. Words cannot tell you how much I value your feedback and helping a whole lot more people read these articles.

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Remember to join me next Sunday to read the woman’s response to the man.

I love you.

By Mute Efe.

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