Tuesday, 28 June 2016

5 Questions You Must Ask Yourself Before The Wedding Day.

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Wedding these days had turn out to be a bunch of events. What we usually know in the times of our forefathers as very simple and a quiet event had metamorphosed into a grand affair and celebrated one.
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You wouldn’t be surprised with the color combinations, its event planning and management, the Aso-ebis, colorful bridal trains and specialized grooms men, varieties of food and drinks, entertainment and security, music and so on to mention a few.
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With all of these, it’s disappointing that many of these weddings do not see the light of the day. Many prepare for wedding but only few prepare for their life after the wedding. Many prepare for the event but only few are ready to face the married life.
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I then wonder, why do all of these happen to some people’s marriage? Is it a crime to prepare so much for weddings or a crime to carefully choose who to marry?
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The following questions should provide you answers If you’d honestly answer them on whom you’ve chosen to marry or who you’d choose.
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You cannot win a battle while preparing in battle, but you only win when you’re fully prepared before the battle.
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#1 – Am I prepared to cope with her when she’s pregnant and nursing a baby?
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A woman never remains the same when she’s pregnant. Don’t be scared, it’s normal. She experiences some mood swings, hormonal imbalances and so on.
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You must be able to love her beyond her ‘sweet sixteen’ figure otherwise you’ll have issues in this stage. Would you be able to cope when she’s giving more attention to the baby than she’d normally do for you?
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Your maturity is needed her or else you’d begin to have an affair. It will be frustrating when you’re ready and all she gives you is a no response or I’m tired. If you don’t train yourself enough to cope at this stage this issue is enough to cause other issues that could tear your relationship apart.
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#2 – Am I prepared when he/she changes totally from who I know before marriage?
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Change is constant and inevitable. Have you seen a picture of a couple that celebrated their fifty years jubilee? I’m sure you’d notice lots of changes that would have occurred in their life. It could be changes in physical appearance, behavioral pattern or entire change of personality.
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He could have grown pot belly which you don’t like or she’s had some stretch mark which you don’t like. Your ability to adjust or blend with the situation would go along way in helping you.
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If you don’t make up your mind to handle this unforeseen situation, you might end up having issues in the future.
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#3 – Am I prepared to handle some turn off if I eventually discover them?
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Your dislike could be snoring, being untidy, having a habit you detest or a personality disorder. Assuming you didn’t discover everything about him or her during courtship and you later discovered it when you’re married, will you opt out of the marriage?
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Don’t expect a perfect person in marriage as you’d see in movies. Your ability to love, be patient and tolerate your spouse would help you solve issues like this when they arise in marriage.
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#4 – Can I cope when the challenges of life betide our relationship?
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Marriage is not a bed of roses. There are ups and downs in it which you can’t predict. It takes beyond love to handle challenges when they come.
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Will you still be there for her if probably it took a while for her to get pregnant, will you still love him if he lost his job or something terrible happens?
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No one prays for evil to happen. We all love to see the bright side of life but when the eventualities of life unfolds, it takes prayer, patience, perseverance and determination to cope in this kind of situation. If you don’t have the mindset of making things work when situation seems unfavorable, it will be difficult for you to cope with him or her in marriage.
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#5 – Whom do you run to when there are issues?
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Your parent? Your pastor? Your friend? Who you run to for help determines the kind of solution you’d get in life and in your marriage. I’m not saying it is wrong to probably seek counsel from these people but importantly, God should be the first person you consult for help. This is why it is very important to build an intimate relationship with Him while you are still single. Remember that a three fold cord is not easily broken when God is part of the bond.
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Are you matured enough to know the kind of people you should run to for help? Build spiritual strength so that you won’t heed the counsel that would destroy your marriage. That the counsel seem good doesn’t mean it is godly counsel.
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Marriage is a lifelong commitment. It takes more to work things out than just the wedding. Issues in wedding are not that complicated if you don’t go beyond your limits. Are you ready to cope with him or her when challenges come? Don’t be carried away by the physical qualities of your spouse or their personality impression, see their ability to cope with the issues of life and God’s consent to your choice.
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Do you have a winning or timid spirit? The true test of love is known during challenges. Take your time to work on the things that would make your marriage successful instead of concentrating your efforts on the pre-wedding and wedding events. Work together. Solve issues and be mature enough to handle your spouse’s indifference.
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© Mayowa Adeniyi 2016

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