Saturday, 4 June 2016

What You Don’t Know About 'I Love You' - A Simple But Powerful Statement

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A statement is powerful because it has the ability to make and to destroy lives.
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There are different kinds of statement in life when it comes to expressing how you feel or you want to convey a message. Not all statement are powerful because those who utter them lack sincerity as they mutter them.
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In relationship, the commonly used statements are "I'm sorry" or "I love you", yet they are mostly abused. It takes understanding to know the weight of a statement before you express it but many are ignorant or just utter some statement when they don't mean it.
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To my brothers in a relationship, how can you tell a lady "I love you" when you don't mean it or because you want to take advantage of her? And why should you as a lady allow a man's "I love you" lead you to bed when his motives are ulterior which you know?
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Here are the facts about this statement you need to know before you say it or believe it.
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1. It's a statement of commitment
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God loves the world equally but He is committed specifically to those who reciprocate His love.
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As human, you can't be committed to everyone equally that you utter this statement to because love requires showing commitment to a special person(s) in your life.
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Are you ready to be committed to him or her for a serious relationship? Not a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship where immoralities is encouraged. But a serious relationship where commitment is mutual.
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A commitment to ensure that his or her life becomes better than how you met it? A commitment that's selfless, sacrificial and doesn't expose their life to evil? A commitment that remains faithful through thick and thin despite your partner's imperfections?
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When you say if for silly purpose, the effect of it would be detrimental to the life of whom you utter it to because you'd act in line with your folly.
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2. It sacrifices
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When I remember John three sixteen, I know of the sacrifices He paid for me on Calvary even when I don't seem to love Him. I remembered the length at which He went until I can prove to the world that I love Him.
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What can you remember about the profession of his or her "I love you" in terms of the sacrifice(s) he or she has made for you?
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One of the elements of love is sacrifice. If the only sacrifice he made is to get you in bed or sort your bills to get you in bed, that's not sacrifice. 'I love you' ought to be a reminder of what he or she has sacrificed to make your life better which is not at their own detriment.
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If his or her 'I love you' doesn't remind you of anything tangible that he or she has made, it'll set you up for destruction.
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3. It shows responsibility
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You cannot profess "I love you" to Dele and be messing up your life with Tunji. You can't claim to love Deborah and keep Janet as a plan B. That's a gross act of irresponsibility.
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There are lots of people who aren't ready to take up the task of responsibility but are busy professing love to every Tom, Dick and Harry. No wonder they often become a philosopher to make biased statements that all men and women are this or that.
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Only a responsible man or woman can take up the task of responsibility. If he can't be answerable to making you pregnant, don't let him defile your marital bed. If becoming pregnant would make her suffer daring consequences, don't expose her life to it.
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A man or woman that's not accountable to you for a purposeful motive should not utter this statement to you.
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Think before you utter this statement. Are you ready and capable of becoming responsible, committed and go the length of making the life of whom you profess "I love you" to, to be better and become the best they can be?
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Aside from been judged for every idle words men utters, you stand the risk of becoming a bad lover when you go into a relationship for mundane reasons and utter words that would raise your partner's expectation, only to dash their hopes afterwards.
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Dear ladies, see the elements of his 'I love you', does it lack depth (commitment, sacrificial or it assumes a responsibility) or it's said to get what he wants from you in bed or out of bed?
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Don't be among those whom this statement of his would make victims of premarital sex, unwanted pregnancy, abortion and the likes. And to the men, say it when you mean it. Also see signs to know if she's serious about it or wants to get something from you.
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Remember, it costs nothing to say 'I love you', but it costs much to prove it. May your life and destiny not be destroyed by empty words of 'I love you'.
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© Mayowa Adeniyi 2016

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