Saturday, 29 October 2016

How Do I Know If A Guy Really Wants To Marry Me?

Action they say speaks louder than voice. But when it comes to making life’s important decision, this saying may not apply. Knowing the guy that really wants to marry you as a lady or a man isn’t meant to be a big deal but knowing if you should pitch your tent with him or her for life is the major task to be done and here’s where most people miss it.
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Many are carried away with what their physical senses can relate with – he is handsome, drives a car, works in an oil company, he is caring, lives in a good apartment and fun to be with. She’s beautiful, well mannered, knows how to make good meals, humble and so on. All of these are good but shouldn’t become the major determinant in choosing whom to marry.
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How will I know if a guy (or lady) wants to really marry me? Some philosophers would tell you this: he will call you often, introduce you to his friends and family as his intended spouse, he is all over you and all that. Good! All of these may appear nice but there’s more to that than to be carried away by romantic display of affection.
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And in case you have forgotten, the Bible says the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked: who can know it? (Jer. 17:9). You cannot know of a truth if a guy wants to really marry you if you base your judgment on your physical senses or he’s just acting out. This is why we have many deceivers both in and outside the church. Be very careful before you accept his proposal or make one.
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To know if a guy wants to marry you, first you must ask yourself whether you are ready to be married. Being ready should not be influenced by peer pressure, desperation, running away from parental issues and all of that. It is determined by how mature you are spiritually, mentally, financially, emotionally and so on. At least score above average in all these point.
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Having determined your readiness for marriage, then two things are involved in knowing if a guy wants to marry you. First you can know through God’s leading or you choose to go the way the society defines it.
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If you’d trust God, you must pray (Matt. 7:7, Ps. 32:8), be patient and persevere but when you want to do it without God, you can go ahead and date – where you might end up becoming bed-sampled and defiled by the man who would ‘test’ you to know whether you are right or unsuitable for him.
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If you’d trust God, you must make sure you are in a right standing with Him by having an intimate and unbroken relationship with Him but if you want to do it your own way, you won’t bring God into the equation. Many people usually get close to God at the brink of making or accepting marriage proposal, it doesn’t work that way. God is not a quick formula you can hurriedly apply and discard when you are done. You must grow in your walk with Him. Know how He speaks to you and how the flesh also speaks.
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If you want God to guide you, He will show you what you need to know about the man but when you go your own way, you might not be able to see what you need to see. Jeremiah 33:3 says, call to Me and I will answer you and will show you great and mighty things you know not. This remains valid for knowing the unknown. And just before you rush to make or accept the proposal, know what you need to know – whether he or she is truly what they claim to be. You cannot know if he or she will be infertile or die untimely years after the wedding but when you inquire, you’ll know the unknown.
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When you trust God to guide you, though storms will come but you are sure of having Jesus in your boat, but when you do without Him, when the storms come, you’ll face it yourself. Do you think marriages are bed of roses? Thorns grow alongside beautiful roses. When the challenges of life comes, romance won’t be able to withstand the challenges in your marriage but your ability to face reality coupled with the assurance of God that you have will give you the courage to weather any storm.
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If you do it your way, you might not easily get the man that would be sincere (faithful) with you because it takes more than him giving you bread and butter or showing you all the cares and kindness of life to know his real intent but when you trust God, He will guide you in the right way.
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And lastly, his profession of ‘I love you’ or its expression isn’t all that would determine his rightness. Love alone doesn’t make marriage work, you need mutual determination and a conviction that God wants you two to walk the marital journey successfully.
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How will I know if he wants to marry me or she is right for me? Get the revelation that comes from God and don’t lean on your own understanding.
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© Mayowa Adeniyi 2016

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