Friday, 11 November 2016


I started masturbating when I was exactly 14 years old. It was such an experience I never believed I could break off from.

I grew up in a 'ghetto-like' place, which exposed me to different kinds of persons and experience. I had to run errands for my grandmother and in the process, stumbled on neighbours watching movies with Adult content and sometimes saw some of them in the act, and because they felt that I was a small boy, the girls either didn't bother to cover themselves leaving their bodies bare as they attended to me, or continued in the act and never cared to pay attention to who it was that was around.

Some of the ladies around who were not married would then touch my private part and tell me things they would have done with me if I was older.

These were seeds that were being sown in my mind, and unknown to me that it would later lead me into a deep mess.

The kind of friends I had both in school and home were those from the privileged class who had access to the internet and different kinds of TV station at home. They came to school with magazines with adult contents, told us stories of movies they watched, the different kinds of sex positions that were acted, spoke in raw languages and told us stories about their older brothers or sisters they caught in the room having sex.

As innocent as I was, I began to imagine things. Because I came from a Christian home and the high level of morality my Grandma tried to uphold in the family, I couldn’t discuss these issues with either her or any of my elderly ones for fear of being punished or my movement restricted.

I continued in this, being abused by my environment and gradually influenced by peers and people around me until I began to think of it, imagine it and crave to be in the very act.

Because there was nobody who could help that knew what I was going through, I began visiting friends to watch pornographic movies and magazines since I couldn’t bring it home because of which my Grandma is, and the fear of being caught.

Then, I started buying the movies and magazines myself but would watch them in my friend's house whose father was almost always out of the house on special patrol.

Then my friend asked me one day if I had developed sperm. The question came to me as a shock because I didn’t even know what it was except for the word I heard in my health science classes.

He then told me I could check using Vaseline like we watched in those porn movies. And that is how it all began….

The experience is such that you know it is wrong but you can’t help it. I tried everything possible to stop it; I thought I had a strong will and that if I made up my mind to stop a thing, I would stop it, until I fell into the claws of masturbation. I would do it, then hate myself and then do it again and hate myself and over and over and over. I knew I was in bondage but I needed someone to show me the way out. I knew it was killing me, but I couldn’t stop it.

This continued for good five years. Even a year after I accepted Christ, I still occasionally found myself in this deadly habit. I was extremely addicted to it.

The fifth year, I was committed in church, was even a department head then but living in this bondage.
How I stopped…?

There were many things I did which I'll systematically explain to you in the end of this article. But let me quickly tell you what put a final stop to masturbation in my life.

How I stopped was nothing short of divine grace. Not by power, not by might but by the grace of God.
I went to church one day and while the service was on, a young, well-shaped lady sat in front of me, and as usual, I was busy fantasizing and undressing her in my mind when I heard a voice.

I can’t really say if it was someone that whispered it to my ears or it was the Pastor that spoke, but I heard this voice that said ”this breast you are looking at is nothing but baby’s food, and this bum-bum is what she uses in the toilet.”

Immediately, it stopped looking attractive to me but started irritating me. After church, I stepped out of church and was walking back home, then I saw this very old woman walking on the road and when she drew nearer, I noticed that everything that was standing and looking attractive on that young lady had fallen and was looking unattractive on this old woman.

Then the Holy Spirit said to me. “I spoke to you earlier and now I am speaking to you again. The grass withers, the flowers fade but the word of the Lord stands sure. Everything your eyes lust for now will one day perish but what shall it profit you, to yield to the flesh and lose your soul.”

Short and simple, He saved me absolutely there and then. The first and the greatest advice I'll give you is that: If you are in this mess, the Holy Spirit can help you out. There is no medication that can help you out, in fact, no Pastor can help you out, he can pray for you but the Holy Spirit is the one that can take the urges away.

Open up to him, He will help you.

Now, let me tell you the primary processes I followed before this habit started packing its load off my life.

1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company. This helped me.

2. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, you must break off their friendship. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind.

Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken out of your mind for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things. This also helped me.

3. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress and then get out of the bathroom into a room where you will have some members of your family present. This helped me.

4. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing, you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you. This again helped me.

5. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, get out of bed and go into the
kitchen and fix yourself a snack, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you get your mind on something else. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak. This helped me a lot.

6. Never read pornographic materials. Never read about your problem! Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.

7. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books -- gospel books --
Scriptures -- Sermons of the Brethren. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of
Scripture, preferably from one of the four Gospels in the New Testament. The four Gospels --
Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their uplifting qualities.

8. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep it in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends, your families, but keep the problem out of your mind by not mentioning it ever -- not in conversation with others, not in your prayers. Keep it out of your mind! I don't know if you'd accept this, but it helped me!

The attitude of a person toward his problem has an effect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behaviour, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power to control it.

This self-gratifying activity will cause one to lose his self-respect and feel guilty and depressed, which can in the extreme lead to further sinning!

The Lord helped me. I believe He will help you, too.

Bless you.

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