Wednesday, 11 January 2017

EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP, EMOTIONAL BLUNDER. Part 1

"I was born into a Christian home where the basic principles for godly living are taught daily at our family altar.

My parents brought I and my siblings up in the way of the Lord and we all have wonderful relationship with Christ.

I have been a born again child of God ever before I thought of going to the higher institution, a member of the choir and am not proud to say that I am very lovely and friendly.

I met a brother in my year 1 in the university. A born again brother and very committed to the things of God. He was loved by everyone in the fellowship including me. I was attracted to him. I just love him as a friend.

Just few Months after our first meeting at the school fellowship; we became close friends. We visited each other regularly, we check on each other welfare, attend Programs and seminar, go to the fellowship together, and I do really enjoy being with him. 

Sometimes I would deliberately cook for him to give him the king's treat. He is such an handsome brother! He would smile at me as he graciously devour the delicacy with great relish.

Most of our friends do admire us together calling us love in Tokyo but we would both smile about such comment and chorus "We are just friends"

To be honest with you, I can't tell how we became so close because he wasn't the only male friend I had.

Our chats became romantic and personal, we tell each other just anything, daily phone conversations, funny emails and text, and I always looked forward to seeing him at the fellowship.

In my heart of heart I began to feel good and excited that he loves me. While all this is going on I couldn't think of any other brother nor did I ever think of starting a relationship with any man.

I couldn't call him my fiance but can I really say he's my friend, I don't know o
ur friendship went on for months and from Months to years.

One incident happened during our final year in school. We all have concluded our exams and the excitement in the air was very great.  With all joy; I ran to this brother's hostel to jubilate over our success and graduation. He was happy to see me! We talked and laughed, I never wished for such a moment to end.

Few days after our final exam, I got a call from this "brother of my affection"; he asked me to see him in his house after the thanksgiving service fixed for the evening at our fellowship center. Hmmm the day I will never forget in my life!

I was full of beautiful thoughts. I tried imagining things...why did he want to see me! Is he finally going to propose marriage to me? Wow! I can't wait to hear him say "Will you marry me?" to me. I thought of what response I would give him if he eventually proposed.

But...

Jesus! What? 

I wept bitterly! I mean I have never been so sad all my life with the event that followed.
I entered his room with joy radiating all over my face...we exchanged pleasantries and I sat close by his side full of expectation. After a long silence that made me feel my heart was creeping into my throat; he looked into my eyes and said to me in a straight face while handing a card to me:

"I want to invite you for my wedding: here is my wedding card"

What?

I collected the card and broke down in tears.

hmmm I couldn't stop crying! I thought it was a bomb blast! I sat down gently, try looking into his eyes but he looked away!

A part of him remorseful and confused while another part of his face looked wicked and determined!
I walked out of his room with sorrow, confusion and shame.

I got thinking seriously. Why did he treat me like this? Why did he choose another lady for marriage instead of me? Why didn't he marry me? Hmmm I reasoned again...could it be that I am not his kind of woman? Hell no! He told me I am all he needs in a wife. Could it be that he didn't love me? Ooh no! He did tell me he loves me.

Why can't he marry me after all the wonderful moment we had together and I wondered why he ever kept me with no serious intention!

I shared my time, cash and shower my affection on him.

I waited in vain! I waited all these years thinking he didn't want to rush things, I thought he was waiting for the right time (our graduating year) before proposing to me.

Why? Why did he give me all that emotional support? Why did he keep mute and only enjoyed all the emotional support I was giving him, when he already know he didn't need me for a relationship? 

Why did he keep expressing love to me when we are together and on phone? If he's never interested in me why didn't he say so when our friendship became romantic? Fine! We didn't have sex and he didn't propose a relationship to me directly but why all the love and romantic moments we had?

I was greatly disturbed! But I have gotten over it. Few years later, I met my husband, a pastor..he is a gift to me! I got over my pain! I have myself to blame for those wasted years with a brother who didn't propose a relationship to me but got me emotionally entangled"


By Esther Ebunoluwa Omoniyi. 
Edited by Olagunju, Success Taiwo.




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