Friday, 6 January 2017

Relationship Is NOT For The Underage But For The... .

When it comes to the issue of relationship, being of age is not a function of the physical development of the human body but a product of maturity in every spheres of the human life. 
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How old are you that you want to enter into a relationship now? 
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I stand not to postulate any age range when you should enter into a relationship but to let you know the likely waterloo that you're to encounter if you enter it as immature. 
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My heart bleeds and tears roll down my cheek whenever I hear of the relationship issues that ladies and men found themselves in. Why should you be in a relationship and you became a victim of premarital sex, unwanted pregnancy, unprepared parenthood and so on. Why?
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Why should you be in a relationship and your dreams, destiny nosedived into a pit of regret and terrible consequences? Why?
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There's no need to be in a relationship when you're too young to make wise decisions for your life. You can be twenty something and still be an underage in relationship matters. 
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If older adults are having issues with their relationship, why are you rushing into one when you can learn, grow and acquire the right wisdom you need in life. Relationship is not a child's play but a work that requires wisdom, maturity and working with the right person. 
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Who are underage? 
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1. Those who don't know the consequences of the choice they're making or are about to make
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Young people don't know the consequences of the choice they're about to make until they make it and regret afterwards. But mature people think twice and determine the consequences before they taste the act. 
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How can you say you know what you're doing: the first and second time, you gave him your body before marriage? And he now wants it the third time and you say you're confused. 
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Being married for beauty or for sexual compatibility doesn't prove that you are old enough to know the consequences of your action. Acquire wisdom until you're able to determine the effect of your choice and it's consequence. Until then, don't enter into a relationship!
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2. Those whom all they know about having a relationship is for pleasure
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Life is more than pleasure and the first relationship God created wasn't designed for pleasure but for the fulfillment of divine purpose. 
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Any relationship built on the foundation of pleasure is a disaster waiting to manifest someday. And he or she that loves pleasure is dead (destroyed) while he or she lives. 
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Do you want a relationship because you want someone to hold you, cuddle you or share emotional intimacy with you? Get your priorities right in life. A romantic courtship doesn't make a great marriage. A fun filled dating doesn't make a successful marriage. But a divinely orchestrated and purposeful relationship with a mutual intent of making it work despite all odds, leads to a successful marriage. 
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See, pleasure don't last, it only fizzle out when you know better. 
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3. Those who don't know whom the right person for their life is
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The right person to marry can't come your way when you're underage or you're jumping from Peter to Paul in search of the right person. 
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The right person isn't known through worldly practice, you know them by looking up to God who knows who's right or wrong. 
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That he is giving you all the attention of life doesn't make him right. That she's the most caring woman you have ever met in life doesn't mean she's right for you. 
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Being right is a function of their suitability, now and in the future. It's not known through sexual intimacy or other forms of compatibility the world preaches. 
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Wait for the right time to know who's right for you. 
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4. Those who do the right thing at the wrong time 
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An opposite sex relationship is good because we all need it in life but it's wrong when you jump the steady progression of life. 
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How can you combine your academic development or career growth with a love relationship? How can you be financially handicapped, spiritually weak or you're an ignoramus mentally, yet you're destroying your destiny to sustain one wrong relationship?
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First of all, go to school and acquire a good grade or master your vocation or business. Not all relationships on campus ends in marriage. Most of them are use-and-dump relationship because when they grow older, they see better. 
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Get a job first or a stable source of income so that you can feed yourself and not constitute a nuisance to the society or your family. It's unwise to go into marriage when you don't have a job except it's according to divine leading and He that leads doesn't lead astray or lead you to suffer. 
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If love is enough to sustain relationship, then nothing should make it cease during thick and thin. But love isn't enough because the 'wine' of your relationship will finish but when Jesus is in it, a new wine will be produced. Work on your relationship with God before you go into a relationship with the opposite sex. 
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Learn how He speaks and be rooted in His love so that you can love your spouse to be. Hollywood or Nollywood expression of love won't work in reality but God's kind of love, when it's mutual, it'll stand the test of time. 
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Remember, relationship is NOT for the underage but for the matured. 
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© Mayowa Adeniyi 2016

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