Wednesday, 1 March 2017

Wrong Partners: The Genesis Of All Relationship Failures

Why do marriages crash? Why does divorce occur due to irreconcilable differences or issues? Who do people tend to be incompatible several years after their marital union?
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Unfortunately, many people cannot answer these questions accurately but the answer doesn’t seem far-fetched. It all lies in one sentence: a wrong partner is the major cause of all relationship issues.
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A man and a Gorilla cannot couple together and become husband and wife. A dog and a woman cannot bond together as husband and wife. Never! It won’t work no matter how you woo the wrong partner, or patch them up, their un-suitableness would manifest in the future.
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Many people, when it comes to choosing a partner, had forgotten that when God discovered that there was no helper suitable for Adam, He took time to make a right partner, Eve for him. And it wasn’t Adam that looked for the right partner himself.
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And because of your exposure, experience or education, if you think you can get the right partner yourself, I’m pleased to tell you that you’ll end up with a wrong partner no matter how careful or smart you are.
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Who is a wrong partner?
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A wrong partner is someone that’s NOT compatible or suitable for your life and destiny, not at the present alone but in the future. Because you’re a man, unless with the help of the spirit of God, you cannot know the right partner.
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You may know some things about your life but you don’t know where you’re heading tomorrow or what you’d become, this is your destiny.
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Without God’s guidance, all that a man can know for himself is to date or marry the wrong person. A wrong person is someone who doesn’t share the same value as you do relating to sexual purity, integrity, honesty, contentment and so on.
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No matter how you preach, sermonize, ‘change’ or convince him or her, they’ll believe sex before marriage equates love or a means of testing one’s fertility.
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Only a wrong person will tell you to express love to him or her through premarital or extramarital sex. A wrong person will exert a negative influence on your destiny no matter how you ‘burn’ up yourself to be loved.
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What is right before God becomes wrong to a wrong partner and what is wrong before God becomes right (normal, not-too-bad) to a wrong partner.
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The best that your human understanding can fetch you is to get you a wrong partner. Whether you employ dating, ‘Christian dating’, cohabiting, catching her young or become best of friends, you’ll end up with the wrong partner.
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A wrong partner doesn’t necessarily mean he or she is evil or bad, it only implies that you’re not suited for the purpose God has for either of you.
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That she suits your life today doesn’t mean she’s the right one for you. Why? You’re a work in progress and there’s more tendency that your taste, desire, level or pursuit will change in the future.
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For instance, a man may be crazily in love with a village girl because she’s humble, well mannered and a virgin in some cases. But few years the line when his level changes, he’ll be looking for an educated city girl who would fit into his present level.
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There’s a wrong partner in the church. That she sings beautifully well, well mannered, spirit filled, tongue speaking or appear wifely doesn’t make her a right partner for you. That he’s gifted, has great understanding of the scripture, manifest spiritual gift or becomes an envy of other sisters doesn’t make you his suitable help meet if God doesn’t deem it fit that you’re meant to be together.
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If you’d not end up with the wrong person, then you mustn’t lean on your own understanding and allow God to guide you or make the right partner for you. There’s always a right partner for everyone and a wrong partner also exist.
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Many, due to impatience and pressure settle for the wrong person when they could have allowed God have His perfect will in their lives. She could be all you wanted in a wife but that doesn’t mean she’s suitable for you. And he could perfectly fit well into your choice of a dream man, but you’re not his suitable help meet.
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You need God to guide you if you so wish so that you can escape marrying the wrong person. Do not forget that marriage is not a day journey but a lifelong relationship. The consequence of a bad marriage or relationship can be avoided if only you know who is right and wrong for you.
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For friendship, you can know a wrong partner because they will blunt your ‘countenance’ as opposed to sharpening it (Prov. 27:17). But in the context of marriage, pray, be patient and allow God to workout His perfect will for you.
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Remember, once the problem of a wrong partner has be sorted out, a larger percentage of relationship issues has been dealt with.
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© Mayowa Adeniyi 2016

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