Monday, 5 June 2017

When The Visitor Becomes A Victim.

Dear singles or engaged singles, it is with pain in my heart that I write this to you because of recent happenings that most people found themselves in, especially in their relationship. 
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It is now a common thing that boy visit girl or whichever way and one thing led to another and they found themselves in bed. 
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I know you love him and both of you and in love, but please pay attention to this message. 
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To my single sisters, Christian or un-Christian, never go to the house of a male friend alone. I reiterate, don't visit your male friend alone. This is not a matter of lack of trust or 'He won't do anything to me'; prevention they say is better than cure. 
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It is very difficult to tame your hormones when you are both emotionally, physically and sexually attracted to each other. When there's a Chemistry between you two, a physics will occur and you'd both carry out the biological process. In fact, speaking in tongues won't help unless you do the needful - flee or don't go alone. 
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It takes discipline and the fear of God for a man to 'Touch not, taste not or handle not' the opposite sex he finds so attractive, likewise the woman. So that your visiting won't make you a victim of what you do not bargain for, don't go to a man's house alone, especially when you're not engaged to be married. And if you are also engaged, go with a friend. 
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You may say this is old-fashioned or bring one thousand and one reasons why you need to visit, if you want to retain your sexual purity and testimony, never walk alone to a brother or sister's house. 
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To my engaged single sisters, I know the society has coined out their own philosophies on what to do as you'd be getting married soon. It is good to visit him but don't make the mistake of passing the night in his house. Don't go on extended discussions that would leave you no option than to sleep over. 
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Yorubas would say that "Esu lagbara, koni gbala", meaning, Satan is powerful but he cannot save. Don't go over and do what is meant for married people. Why should you be cooking, washing the plates, spending weekend or so in his house? Until you're married, you're still a visitor. If it's a long distance relationship, find somewhere to lodge during those long visit. 
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It's better not to allow the devil tempt you than to be tempted for creating an enabling environment. There will be moments when you'd want to express affection through physical intimacy, save it for the wedding day or wedding night. Temptation thrives behind closed doors but it can be easily curtailed in the open. 
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If you don't give the devil an inch when you visit, you won't be a victim of premarital sex or sexual immoralities. 
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And permit me to tell you this, if you give a man (boy) the opportunity to eat the icing on your cake, he won't even bother to cherish the whole package. This is one major reason why most men act entirely different when they have sex with you once before marriage. 
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Many who visited their boyfriend's or fiancĂ© house ended up becoming victims of what they never wanted. If he says nothing will happen, help him by going with a friend. It's not because you don't trust him but to prevent immoralities and stories that touches the heart. 
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Lots of sisters, unbelievers and godly ones have become victims of this issue because of careless visit. Let him look forward to seeing you if you're engaged to be married and don't ever go to his house if you're just friends. Not all male have the ability to tame their erection many move in its direction. 
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My dear brothers, avoid the visitation that would make you a victim. If Samson hadn't gone to Delilah's house, he wouldn't have lost his two eyes and the anointing of God upon his life. The devil cannot tempt you with fornication if you're alone but if you're with the opposite sex and during a careless visit, chances are high that you'd fall a victim. 
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I love you and I'm deeply concerned about your relationship health and life. To avoid stories that touches the heart, avoid the visitation that will make you a victim. 
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Your concerned brother, 
© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 2017

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