Monday, 3 July 2017

Should Singles Express Love Languages Amongst Themselves?

If you're quite familiar with books on relationships, you won't have guessed too far to know who wrote the book that addressed this topic.
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Gary Chapman, in his book, 5 Love Languages listed certain things as love languages that married couples ought to communicate with each other depending on the partner's love language(s). 
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What is love language? Love language is communicating love in a special way that fosters intimacy amongst married couples. He categorized them into acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, physical touch and words of affirmation. 
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I made a post on love languages (Expression of love languages is for the married. On no account should singles be communicating their love languages in their relationship otherwise it might end up leading them to what they do not expect) and it appeared to me that most people do not understand the intricacies of a relationship, especially singles who are not engaged to be married. 
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Most relationship issues that many found themselves in can be traced to the wrong communication of love. I'll prove that for you under the list he highlighted as love languages. 
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1. Act of service 
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Who says love doesn't require hard work? If you're not ready to serve the interest of whom you're in love with, please don't fall in love. 
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But in case you don't know, the act of service most singles unknowingly express in their relationship became the genesis of their problems. How do I mean? All those false care that some men express to ladies is an act of service you must be careful of as a lady. A lady washing clothes and making the bed for a man whom she's not married to is an act of service. 
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If you keep doing an act of service that sparks up lust in your relationship, be ready for its outcome. If he's calling you ten times in a day, be careful because if you give him what he wants, he'll reduce it one or no calls in weeks. If she's telling you 'I just want to hear your voice' and she's not your wife to be, be careful! 
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2. Quality time
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The simplest definition of love to many people is spending quality time with one another. How can you say you love him or her without creating time to bond? For where your treasure is, there shall your heart be!
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Why spend time with someone you're not going to get married to? You're only sending the wrong signal. This is why most ladies or men end up being friendzone because they believe since they spend time together often and enjoy each other's company, they're met for one another. 
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Don't waste your time spending quality time with someone you're not going to be married to otherwise you'll suffer heart break. It is only someone you're building a future with that you should spend quality time with, not someone who's just a friend. 
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3. Receiving gifts 
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There's a popular saying that states that "You can give without loving but you can't love without giving". It's against this maxim that I condemn the exchanging of gifts that blinds the eye or that creates intimacy between two people who are not in a relationship leading to marriage. 
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If you think nothing happens by exchanging gifts, may you not receive the gift that would choke you or that you'd have to pay for. 
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4. Physical touch 
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There's a Chemistry that occurs when two bodies that are in love touches one another. Later, it creates a Physics that will move their bodies into a biological process of premarital sex or sexual immoralities. 
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Oftentimes I marvel at guys and ladies holding hands, hugging like super glue or placing his hand around her waste region when they're not married. If nothing is in between two of you, two of you are setting yourselves up for an intimacy that will create a destruction. 
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5. Words of affection (affirmation) 
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Words are powerful and they convey a force that fosters deep emotional connection between two people. It's more powerful when you're in love with someone and you exchange words of affection repeatedly. 
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Be careful of using words like, "I love you', "You're so beautiful", "You're my angel", "I'm blessed to be your lover" indiscriminately. 
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They may not mean anything initially but in the long run, they affirm confidence and emotional support between two people who are in love.
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Having surveyed relationships, I have discovered that one or more of these love languages that singles expressed became the reason why they ended up in sexual sins and premarital sex.
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If you're in courtship or you're getting married soon, it's wisdom to know which of the love languages to express among yourself as engaged singles. Beware of touches that would send sexual signals. 
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If you're just friends with no marriage in view in less than six months time, stay clear of spending quality time, receiving gifts, touches and the use of affectionate words so that you won't break the hedge and release the serpent to bite.
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© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 2017

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