Friday, 25 August 2017

Dear Spiritual Sisters.

Just because a gentle believing brother asked you out at church doesn't make him any less spiritual, and neither does it reduce his anointing. Do not loose your respect for him because he ministers in the morning and woos you at night, do not look down on his level of grace because he leads Bible study on Sunday and sends you love poems on Friday, say no in a polite manner if you do not feel any personal conviction to return interest. Do not judge him, for above everything else love is a basic necessity of life, after all if we don't toast you in the presence of God where else again? Is it in the club we will now go and do it? 
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And you too Spiritual Brother, 
Its like I will have to do a special series on how to woo a believing sister, because you people are equally not encouraging at all. The way you approach a sister in faith matters a lot, some of you are born again but your toasting skills still needs some serious repentance, you'll just carry your street credibility and enter the house of God ߘðߘ°ߘ® See guys, there is nothing spiritual about toasting, open up and say it as it is doing you, don't approach a sister and start talking about how Nebuchadnezzar prayed for a wife and God heard him, go straight to the matters arising and forget about how Jonah swallowed the big fish, abi it was the fish that even swallowed Jonah. 

That was how I was doing my 5minutes mediation after service one sunday when one choir master approached a sister beside me like;
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" hi, i was watching you all through service, I love the way you worship"
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Arrh arrhh watchman! You love the way she worship how? Are you assistant Holy Spirit? all in a bid to maintain his spiritual status in her eyes, haba uncle, this is one of the few battles where we are allowed to use small carnal weapons, hehehehe.

Start by complimenting her first, shower her with a little honest Jesus praise. Let me show you, start like this;
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"Hi, wow! you look so nice in that blue dress (pause and wait for her to smile and say thank you, then pounce) been kinda observing you around lately, and I just thought I could come over and introduce myself in a bit, my name is Allison, (pause and wait for her to tell you hers, if you like go and be rushing, then pounce again) nice to meet you Chocolate. Hope you enjoyed the service today? (Wait again for her reply, then end the spiritual move there, don't go and be asking her what she learnt from pastor's preaching, go straight to the point) will I be asking for too much if i ask you out to a movie next weekend? Or, got any plans for next weekend? Cos I have two karaoke tickets and I was wondering if you would like to go with me. 
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(If she says she's not free)
nicely say 'oh , alright, maybe another time then, I will see you at the midweek service on Tuesday, enjoy a good week Chocolate." That's it, don't go and be asking for phone number, relax, knowing her name is a first victory, there's always a next Sunday) 
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(If she says she's free, great) 
Nicely sound a little bit surprise, like 'oh wow, really, so mind if I give you a call sometime during the week to remind you? (Sure she'll say okay) then ask for her number. When you get it, stand there and call her first to make sure it rings, because some of these our sisters too can weak somebody, before She'll go and give you Angel Gabriel's phone number because you have mouth odour, hehehehe ߘ°ߘ°ߘ® So when you confirm it, just end with "thanks Chocolate, I will give you a call, enjoy a beautiful week, bye. 
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If you like don't carry small carnal weapon and enter toasting warfare, be there doing smeh smeh. 
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