Wednesday, 27 September 2017


Little foxes! They are tiny yet can destroy a whole vineyard. There are little, "negligible" things we do in our marriages that if we don't do something about them fast, we may end up kissing our marriages good bye!
For instance, if you don't know how to appreciate your spouse, don't be angry if a nice little chick comes to snatch him with her sugar coated tongue! Don't be alarmed if a playboy snatch her from you -yes, there are men who hunt after married women!
I like to act fast before I land in trouble. Who wants to lose her hubby? Not me either! I am a hard working machine who hates delegating, no, not my kitchen! I hate handing my kitchen over to anybody including, well...yes, including him.
I learnt this lesson early in my marriage. Hubby always pitied me after a hard day job and assisted with cooking. He would tell me to relax while he took over the kitchen. Did I just tell you I hate delegating my kitchen to anybody?
By the time he was through, the kitchen was a in a sorry state. Cups, spoons, plates would lie in different directions, used dirty pots littered the sink, the floor had grains of sand, the cooking table was littered with Maggi wraps, used papers, napkins and what have you. It was like a mighty explosion had taken place!
I'd stood dazed at the entrance and blamed my husband for his inability to keep a kitchen in order. My bewildered husband's grin evaporated and he asked coldly, "Is this all you can do to appreciate my effort?"
"Which effort?" I sneered. "I didn't ask you to help me cook and turn my kitchen into a dunghill! Whenever I cook, I keep everywhere in order! It is I, not you the visitors will accuse of being dirty!!!"
My husband is far more mature than I am. He wouldn't argue. He sadly continued with the cooking, dished out my meal and gently served me where I was lying all angry and sullen on the bed. He still smiled and engaged me in a meaningful discussion, before
long, we were friends again.
But the question is, for how long would I keep criticizing my spouse? I couldn't keep hurting him and expect my marriage to keep being super rosy, I had to do something fast!
While researching a topic online, I stumbled on an article and it changed my mind set forever!
Who cares if the kitchen explodes? That my husband assists in the kitchen deserves an award. How many men do that? Keeping things neatly arranged isn't a man's world. Men are rugged. That's why I married my gentle, prince charming in the first place.
I've adjusted real quick. I don't criticize his "kitchen weakness" anymore. I would rather go up behind him and hug him, or run my hands over his back or kiss him while cooking.
I can always clean up later. Not now that my Wonderful chef is in charge and guess what? He now keeps the kitchen sparkling clean and everything in order. That's so sweet.
Yes, we can correct our spouse whenever they do something we don't like but we shouldn't stoop so low to criticizing, judging, condemning, shouting and yelling at them.
We should learn to praise, compliment, appreciate, celebrate and honour them as well. We shouldn't use our familiarity with them against them by blaming them all the time while overlooking at their strengths.
Affairs are on the increase daily. More women and men are now having lovers outside their marriages than we care to know. Don't wait till you lose your spouse before you start appreciating your them. May the Lord grant you understanding. 

© Seun Oladele

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