Wednesday, 6 September 2017

I'M CONFUSED, I DON'T KNOW WHO TO MARRY.

I've once been in your shoes. It is confusing to pick the right guy when you have good guys around you and they all want to marry you, who should you pick? Which one should you say yes to, you are so scared you don't want to mis-choose and at the same time hold onto those guys lest you leave the good for the bad!
If you wait till you are about to marry before you start hearing God, you are a late comer and you are going to mischoose!
Relationship with God is not an abracadabra you just do when one guy propose to you and you are running from pillar to post trying to hear God by fire, by thunder, by force! The devil loves situations like this. He knows most singles are so desperate they do not know the difference between his voice and God's voice and capitalizes on it! If you are not used to hearing God you will mistake the voice of the devil for God and pick the wrong man. Learn to hear God daily as a single person. Have a close, personal relationship with your father and get used to His voice. Jesus says "I know my sheep and my sheep know me. They hear my voice and the voice of the stranger, they will not follow" (John 10:27) Do you know His voice?
My friend of many years had proposed to me while on holiday from school. I went back to school thinking about the proposal. Oh my goodness! He was a good guy! My late mum liked him, all my siblings loved him, his mum liked me including his elder sister and siblings but was he God's will for me?
I had met my husband in school and the relationship was terrific! We hit it off on strong mutual admiration and couldn't do a day without seeing each other! He was a super good guy. A generous giver to a fault. A passionate lover of God. Brilliant and responsible. Ladies secretly admired him and wished he would one day proposed to them. Aint I so lucky? But wait...was he God's will for me?
I prayed about him, studied the word, watched my dreams, check for peace of mind and heart, searched for deep seated joy and contentment. Read books on relationships, went for counselling over and over again...("In the multitude of counselling, there is safety" Proverbs 11:14). I asked him series of questions. I studied him closely. I checked my list of qualities, he met most of them (the remaining are now met in marriage). I said YES to him and NO to the other one!
No one can choose a spouse for you. Singles keep asking me if they should marry a particular person or not, for God's sake! I CAN'T CHOSE A PARTNER FOR YOU! No one can! Your parents can't! God won't force anyone on you either! When you ask Him, He reveals your partner to you. If you like, take him, if you like reject him, you are on your own!
The bottom line is this, learn to hear God daily, He is the one who can reveal your spouse to you. Don't wait till you are about picking who to marry before you start forcing yourself to hear Him.
If you are about to pick a man right now and you do not know how go hear God. Put the relationship on hold. Learn to walk with God, listen to Him and obey Him. Not just because you want to use Him to pick the right spouse and then run away but because He is your heavenly father and you want to develop a close, intimate relationship With God.
Hearing God is not limited to picking the right spouse, you will need it throughput your life. We need God's direction on daily basis lest we make decisions that will ruin our lives forever! May the good Lord grant you understanding.



© Seun Oladele, 2017.

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