Tuesday, 17 October 2017


You must talk in marriage. There is no basis marrying someone who can't grasp what you tell them, finds it difficult reading your love letters, does not understand why a human being will wear tie and will kneel in the middle of the express road to greet you! Okay! That's an extreme, the point is, no sense in marrying someone you can't communicate with, take to social functions and whose spoken English drives you mad whether a graduate or not!
What you need in marriage is mental compatibility not just a certificate. There are men and women whose dressing, spoken English and attitude do not show they passed through the four walls of a classroom talk less of graduating from a university and there are secondary school leavers who are far more mature, smarter, more intelligent, mentally alert, efficient and competent than some university graduates! The point is, marry someone whose intelligence, social maturity, mental prowess and communicating ability wows you whether graduate or not. Marry a man or woman you are mentally, socially and emotionally compatible with!
However, education has trained you to talk, behave, respond and act in a particular way and you need someone with similar trait to flow with or else there will be traffic jam in your day to day interaction with your spouse!
Some desperate single ladies have been asking me if it's okay to marry a man of lower educational qualification or a semi-illiterate in order to get married as age is no longer on their side yet they are having serious trouble communicating and understanding each other in courtship. Some even claim such union is God's will. The New International Version of Genesis 2:18 says "it is not good for a man to be alone, I will create a helper SUITABLE for him." Your helper must suit you, if they are not suitable, it is satan's will, not God's will, back out before you get damaged and broken forever!
Some women are going through serious mental, physical, social, psychological abuse by husbands who think they are rude and un submissive because of their high education. A counsellee went through that hell! Her husband was not only verbally and emotionally abusing her, he also beat her blue black because he felt she was rude to him. She couldn't help correcting him because she felt he was crude, crass and did things that were socially unacceptable! He lacked simple courtesy and etiquette. The guy could not change because that is who he is, yet she claimed he was God's will for her. Amos 3:3 says, "Can two walk together except they agree?" If the man is not as educated or socially mature as you are, you will not be able to respect him and abuse is the end result!
There are men who hide their wives! They can't take them to social functions for fear of being embarrassed. They will rather travel with their female colleague, secretary or a mistress to international conferences than go with a woman who is mentally laid back and physically ancient! Many men in that shoe are seriously having affairs! The rich among them have second wives who are far younger, more educated and socially compatible than the wives at home. Never marry a man who is ashamed of you in public!
There are people who like to go to school to further their education but circumstances and finance prevented them yet they are smart, mentally sound and hard working. They constantly invest in personal development, read good books, attend seminars, symposiums, conferences etc and would jump at furthering their education if an opportunity presents itself. A university graduate can marry such a person as they have the potential to match up. You can help them financially get back to school before or after marriage so they can match up with you.
Education is for life. You can't throw your books away because you are now a graduate.
Marriage is a school on its own. You must constantly educate yourself and read good books if you must succeed in it. Even if you have e doctorate degree in human relations and your spouse is a professor of public relations, you still need to read good books on relationships and marriage to succeed in it. If educational compatibility were enough, most educated couples won't be divorced today!
Invest in personal development. It will help you a lot.
Marry someone who agrees with you socially. They dress and carry themselves in a refined, dignified manner.
Marry someone mentally compatible. They easily understand you and flow in your discussion and communication with them.
Marry someone you will be proud of and not ashamed to introduce to people. May the good Lord grant you understanding. God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun Oladele

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