Monday, 30 October 2017

Heart break: Causes, Preventive Measures and the Cures.

Hardly in life would you ever find someone who hasn't gone through an heart break in the course of their lives. Some had it once while some suffered it twice. For some, it was a minor heart break, while to some, it shattered more than just their heart but their whole life. 
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With a microscopic view of this situation on why many experience heart break in their relationship, I have discovered three major things that are the causes, the cures and the preventive measures.
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Heart break is traumatic, emotionally draining and if care isn't taken, it may lead to suicide. If you're never its victim, please learn and if you've experienced it before, please read on to master some few tips to heal quickly or take precautions. 
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What are the causes of heart break?
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1. Ignorance
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"My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge"
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Why would you go into a relationship when in the next two years, marriage isn't going to be in your agenda? Or why would you think becoming a 'wife' before the wedding day will convince a man to marry you? Ko le work!
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When you're ignorant in knowing how to deal with the opposite sex relationship, you're likely going to experience heart break because you thought both of you are in a relationship leading to marriage. More so, going into a relationship without being mature for it or entering into it too early as an ignoramus would cost you a lot. Relationship isn't something you rush into, whether friendship or marriage.
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2. Carelessness 
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"Putting your two legs into a river to know it's depth is the greatest height of folly"
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How could you put all your eggs (hopes) in a basket (relationship) without having God's guidance? 
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That a man proposed to you isn't an enough reason to build your life around him. And that a lady accepted your proposal doesn't mean you shouldn't go ahead to study her. Many usually become fully committed in a relationship without having God's backing.
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Some would even start planning the future with someone that doesn't see them in his or her future and if such person is a player, he or she would play along to their own advantage. 
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3. Inexplicable situations - 
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"For every inexplicable situation, there’s more than what the physical senses can comprehend"
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More often than not when heart break occur to a person, people usually chorus, "Every disappointment is a blessing". Is this really true? Does God really disappoint people before He blesses them? 
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Some heart break could be spiritually influenced. How would you explain a woman who had suffered several heart breaks from men who promised her marriage? Some got to the point of family introduction or engagement before the whole thing became dissolved. When heart break (disappointment) becomes a trend in a family, then there's a spiritual dimension to it.
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What to do to prevent heart breaks? 
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1. Know the truth
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"You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free"
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The truth about a matter is not in the opinion of men. Jesus is the truth about all the situations of life. The word of God contains the truth about every matters in life and relationships. Also, the Holy Spirit guides one into all truth.
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There is a truth you need to know about the relationship you're presently into. You can't know the truth by listening to the opinion of men, movie or the media alone. Know Jesus. Study His word. Be filled with His Spirit. Listen to His voice.
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2. Be careful 
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That a person comes into your life doesn't mean they're the right person even if they have what it takes to be a potential spouse. Until you're sure that God's leading you into a relationship with him or her, it's wrong to assume they're the right person. 
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Don't get committed to a relationship that is not defined or heading anywhere. When you're careful with your life, you won't be a victim of heart break. 
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3. Be prayerful
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"Men ought always to pray and not to faint"
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Prayer is the key to the solution of the problems of mankind even in their love relationship. With prayer, you'll know what you can't comprehend with your physical senses. With prayer, you'll know what kind of friend they are provided you are discerning. 
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Do you just treat everyone that comes into your life for a relationship carnally? To be carnally minded is death but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. 
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What to do after surviving an heart break
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If you're reading this having experienced a heart break, I congratulate you. Why? Because there's hope for a tree if it be cut down, that it will sprout again, and that the tender branch thereof will not cease. Your world hasn't crashed because you are a victim of heart break. To come out of it quickly, do the following. 
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1. Forgive 
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If you keep blaming yourself, the more pained you're going to be. If you don't forgive the person that put you in that situation, bitterness, resentment, hatred and the likes would prevent you from getting healed.
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Forgive yourself and the person that hurt you from your heart. Don't just say it with your mouth and curse the person in your heart, that is still unforgiveness. 
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Forgiveness is like releasing yourself from the bondage that has held you bound. But if you don't, you'll hug yourself tightly with the bondage. 
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2. Learn your lessons 
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Experience they say is the best teacher; that's if you want to learn. Some people don't learn from their past - what made them fall, cry or hurt, yet they repeat it.
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The best way to get over a heart break is to learn from what broke your heart. Could it carelessness, ignorance or something you can't fathom? Please learn!
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3. Let God!
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God has a way of showing Himself strong in the life of those who let Him in. If you let God, He will heal your hurt, wipe away your tears and turn your mess to a message. My dear, it's only God that can do it.
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Instead of saying it repeatedly, "I'll never forgive Sola in my life for doing this to me", abeg, open up your pain to God. God will heal you by sending you a 'Messiah' who will comfort you. But if you cover your hurt, it'll be more traumatic. 
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© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi.

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