Monday, 23 October 2017


Your purpose in life is very important. You don't search for a life partner until you have found the purpose of looking for a life partner.
Marriage is more than sex, having children and going to work. The rock bottom aim of marriage is to help you fulfil your calling/ destiny/ministry in life!
"It is not good for a man to be alone, I will make an HELP MEET for him." (Genesis 2:8). Why help meet? Why not a sex partner or the mother of his babies. God didn't say, "it is not good for a man to be alone, I will make a sex partner for him" or, "it is not good for a man to be alone, I will make the mother of his children for him." No, He said helpmeet. No careless word comes from the mouth of God. He means what He says and says what He means.
That means, if Adam wasn't busy with God's assignment for him. He didn't need a wife. Eve had been equipped with all the right skills to help Adam fulfil destiny so as a young man, before you go looking for a wife, find your purpose for being on earth first. As lady, before accepting a marriage proposal, find out from God, if he is the one you have been equipped for. Your role in your husband's life is to help him fulfil destiny!
You need to ask yourself: "what is my purpose in life? Why I'm I here? What does God really wants me to do? What's my calling/ministry/purpose in God's big agenda?
"Before I formed you in your mother's womb, I knew you and ordained you as a prophet to the nations." (Jeremiah 1:5) That is Jeremiah's calling: A prophet to the nations. God didn't say nation, (singular), nations (plural) and that is a very big assignment. It's not a child's play preaching to all the people in a state talk less of a nation not to mention nations! That 's a mighty assignment requiring help and that is where looking for a wife to help you fulfil your destiny comes in.
What is your calling? What are you created to do? What is God's assignment for your life? As a young man/ young lady, how exactly do I know what I have been created and born to do?
1. PRAY ABOUT IT: Ask God to show you clearly and plainly your assignment in life. Tell him to reveal to you, what you were created and born to do.
2. YOUR PASSION: what are you passionate about? What do you enjoy doing even if you are not paid a dime doing it. What makes you feel fulfilled?
3. TALENT: What is your gift and talent? What are you very good at doing ? What do you do without stress?
4: SPIRITUAL GIFTS: What is/are your spiritual gift(s)? Are you a prophet, teacher of the word, an Apostle, etc? Are you so passionate about this gift you want to use it to promote God's kingdom? Your spiritual gift is given to help you fulfil your purpose on earth.
5. COMPASSION: What unlocks your compassion for others may be an indication of what you were born to do -God's purpose for your life.
For instance, if you have compassion for motherless babies, God may want you to have an orphanage to take in these abandon children and take good care of them.
6. INDIGNATION: What you hate to see people go through might be an indication of your calling. For instance, if you hate to see people sick, God may want you to be a Doctor. All in all, pray and ask God for His leading. He knows best.
After you have discovered your purpose, have a vision on impacting the world, determine how far you want to go and look for a lady who can help you achieve your dreams.
You need to find a life partner who fits you and is able to help you fulfil your purpose while helping them to fulfil their assignments as well. For instance, if you have the dream of building the largest hospital in the world, you need to pray for a spouse who strongly believe in you and is ready to help you fulfil that dream. That is your own bone and flesh. How then can you locate your future partner?
1. PRAYER: pray that the Lord should direct your path to where your spouse is in Jesus' name.
2. EXHIBIT THE CHARACTER you want in your partner. You will attract who are. If you want a great man/woman with character, you must have character too. If you are godly, you will attract godly men/women but if you are ungodly with poor character, you will attract people like that. Who are you?
3. BE FRIENDLY: Be a friendly person to have around. Learn to smile, learn to reach out to people, learn to offer help and assistance to people whenever necessary. Let people be happy and eager to have you around them.
4. BE NEAT AND PRESENTABLE: Don't look shabby and dirty when looking for a life partner, you won't attract people to you. Learn to look clean, presentable and decent. Men, learn to iron your clothes, ladies, be clean and neat.
5. BE SENSITIVE TO GOD'S LEADING: "For as many as are LED by the spirit of God, are the sons of God." (Romans 8:14). Be God-conscious always. Always follow God's leading for your life. Don't wait till you are about to get married before you start trying to hear God's voice, by then, it's too late. Most people who claimed to hear God when choosing a life partner actually heard the devil.
Daily obedience to the word of God puts you in a position to be led by the lord. By the time you are about choosing a life partner, it will be easy to hear Him clearly and follow his leading.
After you have met your life partner, the next step is marriage, isn't it? NO! The next step is preparing for your future together. The Bible says "which of you intending to build a tower, will not firstly sit down and count the cost." Marriage is like building a tower, you need to sit down and do cost counting before you head for the altar.
As a man, you need to share the vision of your glorious future with her and let her know where she fits in. For instance, if you want to be an international business man, you need to let her know and both of you should plan how to make that happen.
Courtship is for talking and planning, not for having sex so talk and plan!
As a lady, you need to share your vision with him as well and let him know where he fits in. If you want to be a great song minister, a banker, a well known doctor, an evangelist or a great writer, discuss with him and see if your future is heading the same direction. See if he agrees with you and is ready to give you his full support, if not, end the relationship (Amos 3:3).
May the Lord grant you understanding and give you the wisdom to pick right in Jesus' name. You will not mischoose, in Jesus' name. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele.

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