Tuesday, 10 October 2017


If couples will learn to stop blaming each other and take 100% responsibilities for their successes and failures in life, all marriages will be heaven on earth and there will be no single case of divorce recorded any where on earth!
Irresponsibility is the leading cause of divorce world -wide. You screamed at your husband not because he abused you really but because you have issues with anger. No matter how angry you are with a mad man with a sharp machete in hand, you will never challenged him to a duel, your anger automatically cools and you become rational immediately! That is a sign you can control your anger! You were mad at your husband not because of what he did really but because you lack control over your emotions, you lack self control. You lack, the ability to act rational in the face of pressure. Anger does not solve any problem, it only compounds it. Face this truth, deal with your personal issues and accept responsibility for your failures.
You had an affair with that lady not because your wife starves you sex really, you had the affair because you have issues with lust. You do not know how to make your wife enjoy sex with you, you do not love her enough, you lack good communication skill in your marriage. You are selfish. You think about your needs first at the detriment of others'need. You damned the consequence of your decision, went right ahead to have multiple sex partners and chose to break your wife's heart to pieces. Face this reality: you are immature, selfish and lack self control. Mature men deal with their issues, not run into the arms of another woman. Great husbands are not cowards!
Enough of blame shifting! Enough of malice! Enough of all these fight! Enough of domestic violence! Enough of scandal, separation and divorce! Let's all learn to deal with our personal issues before it is too late. Let us stop blaming our spouses for our personal problems! Let us all learn to be humble. Swallow your pride! Learn to ask for forgiveness whenever you go wrong. Learn to say,"honey, it's my fault, I shouldn't have spoken to you that way". Stop the affair sir. Put your arms around your wife and say sincerely, "Honey, I was selfish and lack self control, please forgive me. I will do anything in my power to make this marriage work henceforth." Put your phone on speaker, call your mistress and tell her it's over, you are working on your marriage henceforth. Apologize sincerely to your wife and turn a new leaf.
Humble yourself ma. Tell yourself the truth. You have personal issues and you are dumping your emotions on your spouse. Ask for forgiveness. You really need to repent from your attitude. You were rude, proud, arrogant, saucy, abusive, critical, judgmental and harsh not because of what they did really but because that is who you are and you need to deal with it.
Oh, how will it be if every husband can be humble to their wives? How beautiful will it be if all wives will be humble towards their husbands?
How sweet will it be if we all accept responsibility for our failures and short comings and stop blaming our spouses for our bad attitude and ill manner, it will be heaven on earth.

©Seun Oladele

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