Tuesday, 3 October 2017

When Can I Marry?

This is a question that most people ask themselves especially mature singles and teenagers. Some are qualified to ask while some aren't fit to ask. Being qualified to ask is a function of your maturity and being responsible and one other factor I'll bring to your understanding. 
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I am not here to tell you about the age range or whatever you have been used to because age doesn't determine marital success when you're not mature or responsible. You can be thirty years old and still portray immaturity or an act of irresponsibility, more so, I don't mean you go into marriage as an underage when certain things hasn't been defined about your life.
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See, having two breasts, or a penis or a well physically built body doesn't mean you're fit for marriage. Marriage is more than physical maturity. It has more to do with your mental, spiritual, financial and emotional maturity. 
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Being responsible is the ability to make certain decisions and own up to the consequences. For instance, if you're responsible as a man, you'll get a lady pregnant and stand by her during the period till she gives birth and you'd be ready to cater for both the mother and child without running away. It's an act of gross irresponsibility to allow a man get you pregnant and be looking for means of terminating it.
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Having sorted out the issue of maturity and being responsible, then you need to consider the issue of timing. 
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There's time for everything under the heavens. There's God's timing and man's timing. 
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A man set certain time for his life, this is also known as setting goals. And God also determines the timing of few people who have submitted their lives to Him.
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"God's time is the best" is a popular parlance in our society but not everyone understand or wait for His time. When you do things outside God's timing, be sure to expect chaos and struggles. 
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You can be mature and responsible but get married outside His timing. And you can meet those standards and He would tell you to exercise a bit of patience. God makes all things beautiful in its time. Do not forget that there's an appointed time that God has set certain things to work out.
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How can I know God's timing for my life? 
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It wasn't the day God created Adam that He saw that it wasn't good for a man to be alone. Adam had been busy naming the animals and was cultivating and keeping the garden. What are you busy doing before you start looking for whom to marry? 
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You can't understand God's timing for your life if you are not doing anything relevant for God. It's when you're busy doing something for Him that He can be working out something for you. This is why it's a tragedy to be trusting God on whom to marry but you're not doing anything for Him.
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What you're doing for Him brings us to another sub-topic of "Fulfilling God's Purpose". You can get married without fulfilling God's purpose for your life. But remember, when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. 
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Many people abuse their lives because they do not know the purpose why God created them. You don't need to get into dating relationship to know who's right for you. Seek God's kingdom with your life and other things will be added to you. 
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Also, many marriages are nothing to write home about because the parties involved do not know why God institutionalized marriage. When you know God's purpose for your life, it is then that you can treasure marriage.
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For those who would live their lives in subjection to God's will, He'll prepare you for marriage during your single years as you pursue His purpose for your life. He prepares the other person that would complement you or that you would be his suitable help meet. All you need to do is to be busy with God. 
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Having established all these points, are you spiritually mature for marriage? I mean can you solve spiritual issues that affect marriages? How sensitive are you to know when an issue is spiritual or physical? Note, marriage is first spiritual before physical. And the devil is out to destroy Christian marriages. If he fails in making you marry the wrong person, he'll try to use your differences to ruin the relationship. This is why it's best to be spiritually mature and minded before and during marriage. 
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Are you emotionally stable or mature to cope with a partner who might be experiencing emotional issues? See, you're not just marrying the physical nature of a person, you'll be also married to their emotional imbalances and challenges. Your ability to cope makes you mature and responsible. 
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My people, "I love you, I like you" is good when there are no monetary demands, but when there are bills to settle, love will be tested. How financially mature are you? Do you have a good and stable source of income or you still depend on stipends from friends? Don't go into marriage if you're not financially capable of meeting your own financial demands and of at least one or two persons.
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If you have sorted out the issue of maturity, being responsible and knowing the divine timing, then you can answer the question of "When can I marry".
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But do not forget that you must first know God's purpose for your life before you'd enjoy the benefits of marriage. Once you know it, it'll guide you on knowing whom to marry. 
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© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi.

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