Thursday, 16 November 2017


Is it compulsory? No! Is it a must? No! What then is the benefit? It helps you understand the opposite gender before marriage. Can it get emotional? Yes. If you do not understand the purpose of the friendship, you are desperate, too emotional, irrational, lack self discipline, principles, core value and your self esteem is low. Can it become sexual? Why? From where to where? I thought you are are just being friends!

Opposite sex friendship helps you understand the opposite sex before you get married. You are not just being friends because you want to marry them, that is not friendship, it is dating! You are being friends because you are a friendly, person -you make friends generally with people -both male and female and the best of your friend may end up becoming your spouse.

Some singles don't understand who a best friend is. I'm not talking about all those careless play, gisting, catching fun or clubbing people do all around, those are not friends, they are fun seekers. I'm talking about profitable friendship: sharing your vision, dreams, goals, inspiring each other for greater height, helping each other attain success, loving God more, becoming a charming personality, developing winning attitude, etc. Your best friend understands you the way no one else does, you can be yourself around them. They know the song in your heart and sing it back to you. You don't need to pretend or fake anything when you are with them. They accept you completely with all your past, strengths, weaknesses, ugliness, flaws and all. You get better each time you are around them. You are at peace with them. You laugh easily and talk freely without any hang up, that is friendship!

Since I became born again till I got married, I had different male friends. All were godly and all were virgins. They helped me discover God's calling upon my life, keep chaste and understand the male gender in no small way. Opposite sex friendship ends after marriage. I now have my best friend with me all the time, my husband.

Hubby understand women a lot. Having godly, chaste sisters as friends helped him too, including his wonderful younger sisters who are very fond of him.

So when we both met, there was a smooth flow. We were used to having godly opposite sex friends. It helped our friendship a lot, then we discovered we were each other's best and we do not want this to end. I prayed about it, I had peace and it's 12 years now, he's till my best!

When I wrote that I once had a male friend for about 7 years and we never hugged once, some singles were flabbergasted. Why would you hug your friend, for what? What are you hugging? What are you feeling? Are they your husband or wife? The Bible says, "Can a man carry fire in his bosom and not be burnt?" If you really do not plan to have sex, stop "flashing!"

Opposite sex friendship ends after marriage. Things get mixed up and relationships get complicated. If you do not want to have an affair, do not have any opposite sex as a friend, whether casual or close. May the good Lord grant you understanding. God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun Oladele

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