Thursday, 30 November 2017


Some people believe after marriage, reality will set in, your spouse will be less desirable, familiarity will take over and you start falling in love with someone else!
I don't believe in it. A successful marriage is hard work! You must constantly work on it and keep the sparks alive. You don't have to get bored of your spouse, you don't have to lose the spark, you don't have to hate the sex, you don't have to stop doing the things you were doing in courtship that made you fall in love with them in the first place!
We are created with needs: need for affection, companionship, sexual pleasure, intimacy, fulfillment of purpose. Your spouse had the potential to meet this need that is why you married them. Your deep seated needs won't disappear because you are now married, it keeps growing by the day! Those needs just must be met, if they are not met, someone else will come along to do that and you will end up falling in love with them, its the reason for the emotional/sexual affairs all over the places!
If you love talking, your spouse MUST keep talking to you! The bastardized economy is tearing families apart as almost every one is jumping out to make money at odd hours leaving marriages to suffer! The problem of some couples is greed. They must ride the latest car in town, wear the most expensive clothes and show off while neglecting their marriages. What they have is never enough, they abandon their marriages to make all the billions then use the billions to repair the many damages the broken marriage had caused, by then it is too late!
Never stop dating! That is what keeps marriage alive! You can't stop telling her you love her because she's now a wife and a mother! You can't stop admiring, praising, complimenting and sending her sexy text messages! You can't stop opening car doors for her because she now owns her own car! You shouldn't stop getting her the bouquet, chocolate and suya on your way back from work, keep courting your wife! Don't let work snuff all the life out of your marriage. Don't watch romance die out of carelessness. Don't open your two eyes and watch another man have an affair with your wife due to your negligence!
Do not stop praising him, do not stop admiring him, do not stop sending romantic messages. Do not stop creating time to be together and keep the sparks flowing. I understand you can be busy. Raising kids is time consuming, you just have to create time to keep the flame alive!
Despite my very busy schedules, I create time to be with hubby, vice versa. I admire him daily, seek ways to help and support, keep the friendship flowing, communication in top gear and ensure romance doesn't die. I sometimes pull him on my laps or sit on his laps, say sweet things into his ears and massage his ego.
Seven years of marriage didn't stop him from chasing me, opening our apartment door and allowing me to go first, spending time with me and telling me almost on daily basis I've got the hottest body he's ever seen in his entire life. He tells me I'm so intelligent, smart, sharp and principled. Nothing any man wants to say out there is new. I've heard so much of it at home.
Some women jump into the arms of every Tom, Dick and Harry in the name of hugging because they are rarely hugged at home. Some men give young ladies hot chase when they are admired because their wives rarely see anything good in them.
Keep romance alive. Keep chasing, dating, courting, admiring, complimenting, supporting and helping! Keep passion alive! Don't allow your marriage go stale! Don't let it become boring!
One man confessed after he was through with an affair: "I never knew how hungry I was until she came along..." Don't create an emotional, sexual, physical hunger in your spouse for someone else to fill.
Don't wait till your spouse starts having affairs before running helter-skelter. Only the God of heaven Himself can intervene once a spouse starts sleeping around. Adultery is devastating to say the least!
May the Lord grant you understanding. God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun Oladele

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