Monday, 15 January 2018


Desperation will land you in trouble! Not taking your time to dig into your beau's background and check up on their history or past to see if you can spend the rest of your life with them or not will land you in the divorce court after you get married!
You are expected to stay with your partner till either you or she dies! If you decide to end the marriage before either of you kiss the dust then something big must have happened. How did your marriage get to the point of divorce? What are the things you shouldn't have done you did? How did your partner get to the point of being bitter and walk out on the marriage? Something big is wrong somewhere.
Before you jump at that man's proposal or run off with the lady to the altar, here are the things you need to find out or you will bite your finger forever!
1. WHY DID THEY DIVORCE THEIR SPOUSE? Lots of men claim the lady committed adultery. Fine! What led her into adultery? What had she been complaining about you refuse to change? Did you starve her attention, sex, money, communication, time etc and she needed to look else where? No! I'm not supporting adultery but we need to find out why she soiled her marriage bed.
Would she have divorced you if you were the one who slept around? If your divorced fiance kept defending himself, telling you stupid lies he did all he needed to do yet the bitch of a wife chose to whore around, you are in for a disastrous marriage. Unless he acknowledge his weaknesses and failure, rectify his mistakes that contributed to the breakdown of his marriage, he will treat you exactly the way he treated his first wife and you will both end up divorced. Most divorcees don't have a second good marriage.
2. WHY DID THEY MARRY THEIR PARTNER? Most claim ill luck. There is nothing like that when it comes to picking a life partner. You opened your two eyes wide and chose to marry him because of his good looks or fat bank balance forgetting those muscles that produced the millions can batter you mercilessly!
You ignored character and went for the big boobs, hips and wild, passionate sex. Now, that you realize marriage is more than curves and TDH, you showed your cowardice and end up divorced.
If he acknowledge his mistakes and he is attracted to you for the right reasons, he is in his right senses. If every time he is with you, all he wants to do is touch your boobs and have sex, you are with an unserious, neurotic, psychotic, imbalanced element. Boot him out of your life!
3. DO THEY HAVE CHILDREN? These kids are bitter and angry and will always be loyal to their mum/dad, especially the mum. Of course they still communicate with their parent and will report both you and your spouse to his/her ex. If you can cope with little enemies in your house and all your secrets leaked to an estranged ex who you are afraid may one day send them to poison or attack you, you will do well to have a rethink.
4. DO THEY STILL COMMUNICATE WITH THEIR EX? Some men are blatant, incorrigible, possessed liars! He may swear to heaven, remove his slippers and lick the bottom, calling his great grand mother from the grave to bear him witness, that Amadioha should strike him dead if he had ever communicated with his wife since they divorced yet he still meets her in.secret, beg her for sex, tell her how he missed her and wants her back. You are just a side chick he is using to satisfy his sexual appetite, open your eyes wide and receive sense in Jesus mighty name! Kick him out!
5. DO THEY ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR MISTAKES? If he claims holier and more perfect than Jesus who is just unfortunate to end up with a witch or she claims she's a sweet little angel who sat down "jejely" where she was before the son of satan came to snatch her under her parents and wrecked her life, you are dealing with a grossly irresponsible, immature adult who does not understand what life is talk less of marriage!
It takes two to tango! There is no innocent party in any divorce case. Both contributed to the failed marriage and if they believe they contributed nothing, they were irresponsible and immature enough to pick a wrong spouse, that is a major personal problem on its own! You refused to hear God; you were proud; you chose to pick with your head and when everything got messy, you lack the character to stay, so you ran and jumped into another marriage. You have serious personal issues my friend!
If you can't work on your first marriage, you won't work on the second and the third. If you are stubborn, and chose to marry an unrepentant divorcee, you are on your way to another divorce!
I do not support divorce. God hates it. The only condition allowed by Him is adultery because he knows men are too proud to forgive their wives when she commits adultery. How many women divorce their husbands on the grounds of adultery? They lick their wounds and move on!
Separation is only recommended when there is threat to life and constant domestic violence! It doesn't make sense to stay with a spouse hell bent on killing you.
Better to stay alive and separated while taking care of your kids than stay married and die untimely with your children sleeping under the bridge or thrown into motherless homes because their dad has been sentenced to death for killing their mum or sentenced to life imprisonment!
Should a divorcee re marry? Read Kenneth Hagin's book on MARRIAGE, DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE, it will open your understanding on what God has to say about divorce. Is your marriage experiencing hiccups and serious challenges? Read my ebook: LIES THAT BREAK MARRIAGES, it will help you settle your issues and fall in love over and over again.
Ask the right questions so you do not end up with the wrong spouse. May you not mis-choose in Jesus' name. See you next time, God bless you, cheers!

© Seun Oladele

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