Thursday, 11 January 2018


So many ladies think so including married women thereby making themselves perpetual enemies of their husband's family even before they got married!

There is no evil mother-in-law anywhere, our mentality make them evil, it's as simple as that. How you treat people determines how they respond to you, whether in-law or not.

If you are a person who do not repay evil for evil, act nice to everyone, you are generous, affectionate and very hospitable, you won't have problems with any human being on earth including your in-laws. The Bible says, "when a man's ways pleases the Lord, He makes his enemies to be at peace with him." ()Proverbs 16:7). He also said, "follow peace with all men..." (Hebrews 12:14). Character problem, pride, selfishness, haughtiness, high mindedness and rebellion is what make us run into head on collision with our in-laws.

Yes, some mothers-in-law can be difficult to please, this can be due to their temperament not because they hate you. My mother-in-law is a confirmed choleric/Sanguine while I am a sanguine/Choleric so at the beginning of my marriage, she shocked my ass off! She categorically told me what her son likes for breakfast, lunch and dinner, lectured me on how to handle my kitchen and wants my naturally slim husband to add flesh as soon as possible. I was irked, angry and bitter but kept my tongue under lock and key! "How dare she?" I thought aloud, "does she think I can't take care of her son or what?" I gave her the cold shoulder till she left.

A time came for my son to visit her and spend a few days. I sat her down and lectured her on how to take care of my son. I told her what he likes for breakfast, lunch and dinner, what type of soap he should use, how she should handle his sponge and on and on and I would call occasionally with my b/p almost shooting out of proportion to find out if my son.was well taken care of then one day it dawned on me. I am exactly like my mother-in-law. I have treated her the way she treated me. I could not trust her to take care of my son like I would do because of my motherly love and concern. At the beginning of my marriage, she was concerned for her son too. She didn't hate me neither was she competing for attention, she just wanted to hand over the little she knew about her son so I could successfully take over from her. 

When that dawned on me, I broke down, shared my "revelation" with hubby and my mentality towards my mother-in-law changed forever.

Her temperament has not changed, she still rebukes me exactly the way she rebukes her children when they go wrong and she is quick to offer her listening ears when I want to talk, she is friendly, loving, compassionate yet doesn't take nonsense.

It's easy to judge people when you are not in their shoes. One day you will become a mother-in-law, then you will understand how it feels to have your son's wife disrespect, dishonour and treat you like a witch!

I love my mother-in-law, I don't know about you. If she's proving difficult to handle, please remember her in prayers. We all have personal issues we struggle with and if we are not under the control of the Holy Spirit can misbehave and become nasty to people.

She may have inner battles, struggles, pain, identity crises, mid-life crises, low self esteem, depression, demonic oppression and character disorder. Pray for her. That is your greatest weapon.

Fighting and tongue lashing will only land you in trouble. The Bible says, "for we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers..." (Ephesians 6:12). Your mother-in-law is not your problem baby, love her but fight the devil, the devil is your enemy! Kick the devil out of your marriage with the word and prayer! Prayer is a powerful weapon against the enemy. There is no problem prayer cannot solve. See you next time. 

Thanks for reading. God bless you, cheers!

© Seun Oladele.

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