Friday, 26 January 2018

When He or She Makes a Promise to Marry You.

A man doesn't build a house by day dreaming or build castles in the air by promising; he'll never own a house by promising to pay unless he has paid the price. He must ensure he makes it concrete before he engage the services of building professionals to build or before he buys. 
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Relationship is like a building, it takes two to build and the foundation on which they build matters a lot. 
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Many had gone into lifelong commitment on the pedestal of promises. "Oh, he promised to do this", "She promised to do that..." It is to live in fool's paradise to initiate marriage on the basis of promise. 
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Promise is not enough to substantiate a lifelong commitment, especially marriage. That he/she promises you heaven and earth doesn't mean such promises would be kept or not breached. I've heard cases of failed relationship and disappointment emanating from 'loaded' promises. Don't be the next victim! 
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Let's analyze some promise scenarios that most people often get trapped in. 
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1. He promised to marry me when he comes home
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Schooling abroad is good, in fact going abroad in search for greener pasture isn't a bad idea when it's done to improve one's living standard. 
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Many ladies have had their hopes dashed because of this. You know men are moved by sight and who he sees often is enough to attract him. Not all men or women are good at keeping their promises. To some, out of sight is out of mind. Only few can maintain their stand. 
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Don't end your life in fool's paradise because he has promised to marry you. Be sure of your union if you want God involved at the start and be assured that God is involved. 
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2. She promised to marry me when she's through with her education
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There are some men that are obsessed in love in this situation. She promised to marry you and she places you on hold or 'is coming' as its commonly used as a slang, my brother, you-are-on-your-own. Some ladies would even demand a furnished apartment before they'll consider marriage. 
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You'll face the music when she comes back to tell you you're old-school or incapable. Gone are the days when people keep to their promises. Today, honesty and integrity has been thrown into the lagoon, only few still maintained theirs. 
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Clearly spell out the terms of the relationship before she goes or completes her education. It's usually not some women's fault to break their promise due to pressure and sexual advance they face, although that's not a genuine excuse. But be sure He's aware of your union before you wait endlessly or chase shadows. 
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3. He promised to marry me if...
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...I give in to sex
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A lot of ladies had been deluded thinking that promising marriage also means marriage proposal. So when the guy comes and tell you, "I'll marry you if we have sex", my dear, don't get deceived and be used. Anyone that contradicts God's standard of sexual purity cannot respect you. 
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Sex before marriage doesn't guarantee marriage. In fact, your chances of becoming disappointed is on the high side, not to talk of the consequences. 
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It's a lie from the pit of hell that would make it seem true that premarital sex is normal. If he cannot promise to stay faithful or wait till the right thing is done, sex before marriage will not make him fulfill the promise of marrying you. 
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...if I get pregnant 
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It's a perverted culture from Hell to initiate marriage on the basis of having pregnancy before marriage. No matter who initiates it, it is wrong and contradicts God's order for marriage. It is in marriage that you become one flesh and not before or outside it.
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Why should you honor his demands and disobey God? Fine, God is merciful but one thing you don't know is that the devil is empowered to steal, kill and destroy when a man sinned against God. 
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Don't be made to believe it's the norm. That everybody is doing it doesn't make it right. Do the right thing God says. If he promises marriage on the basis of pregnancy, what makes you think he will adhere to it? Even if he does, do you think you can transgress God's command and the devil will leave you unpunished? 
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Marriage is like a contract, it must be signed, sealed and done honorably but it's a covenant relationship. Don't build your life on promises. If a man needs you, he'll do the needful rather than make promises that can be breached. Sex isn't a gateway into marriage; you’ll save yourself lots of regrets when you abstain than to face its consequences.
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Put God at the center of your life rather than make him or her your principal figure. Marriage isn't child's play, it requires mutual agreement without breaking divine order. Spell out your terms clearly because promise can and may be breached. 
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© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 

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