Wednesday, 21 February 2018


Play boys use this method a lot. I'm not talking about the ruffian at the garage or the trouser sagging, cigarette smoking, chain wearing, skin bleaching guy with borrowed sunshade plastered on his eyes 24/7, I'm talking about your fellowship President, Church Pastor, Choir leader, Bible Study co-ordinator, colleague at work, boss at the office, business partner, uncle, lecturer or any man whatsoever who is fond of asking you for sex either directly or indirectly, through emotional manipulation, blackmail or passive aggression is a playboy!
They say things that tugs at your emotion, like "I love you", "I miss you," "you are so beautiful", "I can't do without you","your eyes are sexy, they set my hormones on fire", then gradually, to "I love your curves, you are so sexy" etc.
Gradually, slowly, your discussion shift from things of the "spirit" to the physical while they watch you lap their words with your heart panting and racing at a dangerous speed. If he sees you are getting addicted to his compliments, he begins to ask for sex or start touching you where he should not or start by asking for a hug, then a kiss, then to fondling to sex then he dumps you like shit!
If he sees you are declining physical contact, then he withdraws his compliments. He knows you enjoy them and will start chasing him around asking him why he doesn't love or call you anymore. It is the withdrawal method he is using on you baby.
He tells you if you love him, you should come over to his house. I pray your sense doesn't go into the freezer the moment he says that or else!
It's the reason so many counsellees come crying their boyfriend stops calling because they said NO to sex and they still love him, I use to "yin mu" at these naive girls, I pity you!
Some ladies have told me their Pastors keep asking for sex. For some, it's their boss, some their school fellowship President, some, the "fiance" and the men withdrew the moment they said NO while these girls/ladies run from pillar to post seeking ways to appeal to these playboys who are hell bent on destroying their lives!
Play boys have only one mission: have sex with you and dump you like shit while you keep begging and crying they should not leave because of the sex and soul-tie. They reluctantly accept you back, have sex like crazy till they get tired and dump you for another victim. Once he has the sex, his mission is accomplished. Why are you begging him not to leave you?
"Guard your heart with all diligence" is what the holy book says. Don't allow any man play with your emotions.
Even when you are engaged, reserve all pet names till you are married.
Married people should be careful whom they choose as opposite sex friend. As for me, I do not have any opposite sex friend whether online or offline. No pet name is allowed. No "I love you," "You are special to me." No "dear", "sweetheart" or whatever. That's my husband's responsibility. He needs no man's help to help him do that.
Set boundaries, this is very crucial. Protect your heart so you do not get trapped by play boys.You will not fall into the hands of users and dumpers in Jesus' name. Be very careful! God bless you. 

By Seun Oladele

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