Monday, 26 March 2018


Marriage is very sweet. As a growing young boy I watched my parents display love. They didn't know as much as I do, but they exemplified love in a way that made me want that same experience. So when I turned 27 I wanted that experience so badly. I couldn't wait to be married.
In 2005 I was hosted by a couple for a month. They are young ministers of the gospel. This couple redefined the concept of marriage to me. From them, I learned how vital communication is in marriage. They spoke freely to each other. They worked together. The husband helped with cooking. He did that with swag and with all pleasure. He was also sweeping and washing the dishes. They were so romantic that I couldn't stand afar watching them display the kind marriage I had wanted to have. Even though I was a special guest to them, I joined them in doing the house chores. We would chat and talk and talk. It was fun. I can't forget that in a hurry. The pastor treated his wife like a Queen. She meant the whole world to him.
Every wife is a Queen and must be treated as such. Your wife is not a house help. She is your soul mate and best friend. I have seen men who treat their wives like slaves and a piece of thrash. That's ignorance of what marriage is and a violation of her marital rights. I have also seen men who will let their wives work themselves to death at home. These women will do virtually everything without the man assisting with anything. Husbands you can assist them personally or get them a maid or house help.
There is no ugly woman. All women are beautiful in their own right. Through marriage, a wife's beauty should be enhanced, and not destroyed. I have seen once-upon-a-time beautiful women who now look ragged. I am not talking about those who think that once a woman is married and starts having kids she should turn into one "grand mama" in her home. No. I am talking about those who been have maltreated and neglected by their hubbies. Husbands, that's not fair.
Husband, when you beautify your wife, she will eternally be attractive to you. The first way to beautify her is by giving her the peace of mind. Satisfy her emotional, mental, spiritual, financial and sexual needs. Let her feel that she means the whole to you. Treat her with respect and dignity. Treat her with respect in front of your siblings, parents, friends, neighbours, colleagues. Protect and defend her. Every passing day reiterate and reassure her of your love for her. Praise her. Appreciate her. Don't compare her with others. Pamper her. Buy her gifts periodically. That's true romance. Romance isn't only when you want sex. Romance is the atmosphere both of you create at home where love is pushed to the limits.
Make your marriage sweet. Create your own fun. Don't be too spiritual. Play and tell yourselves stories and jokes. Cuddle and hug yourselves. Some people think these behaviours die down overtime. That's not true with all marriages. It's a good habit that you must continually sustain. Don't drop off the mindset. Please keep it up. No marriage can be any sweeter than the two spouses involved. Marriage thrives on both spouses personalities. If both spouses are hilarious the marriage will be fun filled. If both spouses are romantic, the marriage will be romantic. If both spouses are loving, the marriage will be full of love. If both spouses are sincere, the marriage will be full of sincerity. And if both spouses are dishonest and suspicious, the marriage will reflect same. Marriage reflects the personalities of the spouses involved. That's why preparation is vital. Work on yourself before thinking of getting married. It's true that marriage improves people, but start the process of improvement as a single.
Spouses should satisfy themselves sexually. Most times men are very unfair to their wives in this regard. How could you have sex with your wife and only last for 3 to 5 minutes? Honestly, 3 minutes can be enough for a man to satisfy his sexual desire, but not a woman. A woman takes time to build momentum and reach orgasm. That's the only way and time she can be satisfied sexually. Many, if not most wives, don't enjoy love making in the real sense of it. But when a wife enjoys sex and she is thoroughly satisfied, she will be looking forward for the next one like a new adventure she has to embark upon. But when she isn't enjoying it, she will be bored with it.
Today, many wives are having sex with their husbands not out of pleasure but just to fulfill that conjugal obligation in marriage. That's not sex. That's a "little hell". Sex is not only for childbearing. It's primarily for pleasure. Enjoy yourselves; ALL PROTOCOLS DULY OBSERVED. Blow yourselves off sexually. Be terrific on the bed. No holiness or spirituality on the bed, please. Do it the way that suits both of you. Ravish your bodies. Have sex anytime of the day; must it always be at night? What happens to your mornings and afternoons when you are both at home? You can make love anywhere in your house (kitchen, sitting room, bathroom, etc). Use any position; must it always be the very popular "missionary style"? Try other positions and enjoy passion.
In conclusion, husbands love your wives unconditionally; that's God's command (Colossians 2:18-19). Treat them with respect. Take care of them. Be there for them. Protect, defend and nourish them. Cherish them, for every wife is a Queen. Mine is a Queen. Is yours a Queen? Your marriage will not crash in Jesus name. Thanks for reading. God bless you.
See you at the top!
Your friend,
Coach Joshua

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