Monday, 12 March 2018

THE THREE STAGES OF MARRIAGE.

As singles, you must understand that there are three phases you will go through in marriage, prepare for those stages and experience bliss all through. What you don't prepare for, you don't enjoy, here we go!
1. THE HONEY MOON STAGE: No children stage. It is you and your spouse alone. This stage is so exciting. It is like courtship in marriage. You have all the time in the world to do things together, go places together, travel together, attend seminars, symposiums, retreat, date each other over and over again and have lots of fun. It is a vision sharing, future building stage where you share your vision, plan together and work and in hand for the realization of your highest dream.
I usually advise couples especially those who married young or those whose courtship were very short (I do not encourage short courtship) to wait at least a year before having a baby.
Marriage is more than punching out babies! Marriage is friendship, companionship, partnership, and helping each other build your future. You can put the baby on hold, build friendship and set a solid foundation for marriage. I waited almost 2 years before having my first son. It was a beautiful stage of my married life. I never really wanted it to end but of course, you have to move to the next stage:
2. CHILD BEARING STAGE: There is joy in parenting. There is an ecstasy in knowing you can impregnate your wife and that you as a wife can carry a baby in your womb. That feeling is something I can't describe. You feel happy, you feel complete. You feel like a real man, you feel like a complete woman. However, childbearing comes with lots of responsibilities and if not handled with wisdom will throw the family into crises. From the day the child is born, your role expands, your attention on each other expands to accommodate a crying, demanding, helpless baby. Diapers need to be changed, lots of things need to be bought. There is more demand on your finance. You need to work extra hours to make more money meaning you have less time for your wife. You can't go out together regularly like before so you either go alone or go with a friend. A male friend. Some chose a female friend instead and that is the beginning of an affair.
Of course, you can enjoy friendship and intimacy all through this stage. What you need is wisdom, discipline and a strong determination never to allow anyone fill the space of your spouse in your life.
There is also the challenge of active sexual life. You have to wait for about 3 months for her body to heal. The baby's 24 hours demand may drain her of all the sexual energy she has. She needs more affection and understanding rather than sex. The stage will eventually pass when the child is getting independent so prepare to be loving, understanding and affectionate while the stage lasts before another baby arrives and you repeat the same cycle.
3. THE EMPTY NEST STAGE: This is the stage the children are all grown and married, you are left alone with your spouse. If you were never friends before you got married, you only married because of sex, children and money, once the sex drive weakens, the children are out and money diminishes, your life will feel empty and useless! It's the reasons some mothers follow their sons into marriage and act like their wives, becoming possessive and destabilizing his marriage because she never really married her husband. She wanted children and never wanted them to leave but when you marry right and build friendship, this stage will be loads and lots of fun. Prepare for the 3 stages, marry your soul mate and your marriage will be heaven on earth till Jesus comes...
Watch out for my ebook, "Attracting Your Perfect Soul Mate." Just #500. It will teach you how to attract, date, court and get married to your true love, your real bone and flesh, your perfect soul mate. It's powerful, it's loaded, it's life changing. You will get it in your email one hour after payment. Thanks for reading. 

God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun Oladele

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