Friday, 2 March 2018

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOGETHER?

Courtship is basically for asking your partner serious questions, getting to know each other, planning your future, praying together, studying your Bible, reading books that will help your marriage in future and verifying if you have really made the right choice before taking a journey of no return -your marriage.
If all you do is "say I love you" from morning till night, go to cinema, Coconut beach, clubs or whatever, have sex like a sex starved sex maniac, pose all around town and upload pictures on the social media to shame your enemies and announce to all the witches in your village you are now engaged, you are wasting your time! (I'm not saying you should not go out on date, but that shouldn't be all and only thing you do.)
Courtship is serious business! This is your future we are talking about here. This is about your destiny and final destination. You can't afford to put your life in the hands of an unknown person.
Many singles don't know their partners until they get married and start experiencing real shockers. They have all the opportunities in the world to know this man/woman better but they wasted it.
Everyone make mistakes. There are times we think we heard God but we really didn't. Hearing God is a spiritual skill you must get trained in and master. If you are just hearing God and you pick a partner during that process, don't jump into marriage. Study your partner over and over again to ensure you have picked right before heading to the altar.
Courtship can be broken 2 minutes before the wedding but once married, forever married. It's not a sign of weakness to confess to your fiance/fiancee you made a mistake. You thought you heard God but now you've realized you really didn't and want to back out.
Don't form the habit of breaking engagements as you like please. It is not easy being in courtship with a person only to be told you are not doing anymore. Some never recover from such heart break. Some have committed suicide, some ran mad, some ended up at Aaro Psychiatric home, some became walking corpses, some never ventured in to any relationship for the rest of their lives. Some never became balanced. Some hurt so deeply and so much, they never had a successful marriage for the rest of their lives. Some got married and ended up divorced. Some became prostitutes and sought solace in whoredom. Some men turned to drugs, weed, cocaine, tobacco, alcohol for comfort.
Yes, you are not responsible for their actions but heart break is not easy. It's like losing a loved one to death. A part of the person dies. Some literally developed high blood pressure and stroke! When you break hearts over and over again, you are causing damages without knowing.
Bottom line, ensure you heard God well before proposing. Don't rush your courtship. One year is the barest minimum. 2 years courtship is better. 5 years should be the maximum but there is no fast rule about this. To know your partner well, your courtship should not be less than a year.
The best time to get engaged as a young man is when you have found your vision, your purpose for existence and you are pursuing it with vigour. This is when you need a wife, help-meet to help you run the race. Every man's vision is too big to handle alone. The Bible says, "it is not good for a man to be alone, I will make him an help-meet suitable for him". Help-meet not sex-meet or girlfriend-meet so you are looking for a mature woman whose destiny matches yours not babies with adult bodies looking for boys to experiment sex with.
Marriage is serious business. It is for mature men and women not boys and girls. Until you are ready for serious courtship and marriage, don't venture into it. How mature are you? You alone has the answer. 

Thanks for reading. Feel free to share. God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun Oladele

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