Thursday, 29 March 2018

Why Many Marriages Fail

To have a successful relationship, it'll be very thoughtful to know why marriages fail so that you can know what to avoid in making your relationship a success.
Of wedding ceremonies done, only few end up becoming successful even among celebrities and those who aren't in the limelight. Several researchers have came up with their findings to purport that there's a higher percentage of failed marriages than the successful ones.
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Why is this so?
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God made me understand the following reasons why marriages fail. Please slowly read and digest the points highlighted below.
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1. Foundation
The foundation of a building determines how it would be able to withstand both wind load, self and imposed loads. How durable a foundation is determines the outcome of the building that would be erected on it.
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What makes up the foundation of a marriage is solely what brought two people together. How you met may not affect your marriage but what brought you two together would definitely affect your marriage. 
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What brought many people together for marriage is lust, material things, people, or situation but only few were brought together by God. Even some whom He brought together still had failed marriages due to the reasons that I'll discuss below. 
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When your marriage is formulated by tangible things such as God or mutual commitment, it'll last but if intangible things becomes the basis, it'll fail.
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2. Failure on the party involved
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Another critical factor that makes marriages to fail is how you build on it. Marriage is hard work. You must be ready to make it work even if God brought you together and it must be mutual.
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Intending husband and wife must have a win-win mentality and not quit the relationship when times are bad. There will be storms in your marriage but your mutual commitment to forge ahead regardless of the storm determines whether you'll succeed or not.
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If you don't have the determination to make sure your marriage succeed, failure will be an option when things go bad.
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Do you leave the kitchen when the heat is much or you endure it until the food is done? The same approach is needed in marriage especially when God is the Alpha and Omega.
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3. Third-party influence
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A lot of marriages fail because of the involvement of a third-party. Allowing your parent (spiritual, biological or mentor), friends, family or colleagues to negatively influence your relationship is detrimental to the success of your relationship. 
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Both of you must be mature enough to make wise decisions or weigh opinions from outsiders rather than swallow them hook, line and sinker. 
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A man and woman must LEAVE their parent, not in neglect but not allowing them to negatively influence their marriage.
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More so, a third-party influence can be spiritual. The devil can enter into anyone to ruin your relationship if you're ignorant of his devices. He can steal, kill or destroy the love in your relationship through anyone and if you don't prove all things, you'll build your relationship on falsehood. 
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We don't wrestle against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers. This is why spiritual maturity is needed before you go into marriage. You must be able to discern the cause of issues in your relationship and deal with it appropriately. 
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A man must be spiritually sound and mature, likewise the wife too. It takes two spiritually mature people to have a successful marriage. 
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4. Parental foundation
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If your parent were ever a victim of failed marriage, or it runs through their family line, such issue could replicate itself on any of their children's marriage if they don't pray and work hard to break that evil trend.
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It's mostly like mother like daughter syndrome and like father like son syndrome.
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This is why Christians should not just take the issue of marriage with levity, they must seriously pray about it
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Hence, the parent's foundation of either partner can affect the success of their marriage. Courtship is not a time to involve in sexual immoralities or pursue vanities, it's a time to lay serious foundation for your marriage and do all the preliminary work that makes marriage successful. 
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5. Wrong partner
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No marriage can succeed when one of the party is not suitable for the other. A wrong partner is not a function of their personality impression or physical appearance, it is largely due to how unsuitable and incompatible they are to your destiny.
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You cannot know the wrong partner through dating, cohabiting and the worldly schemes people use, you can only know the wrong partner through prayer and the help of God. No matter how good, nice, beautiful of caring you are or how promising your future is, if you marry the wrong partner, all your dreams and hopes will become a mirage.
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Do you want to have a successful marriage? Be the right person, marry the right person, use the right principle, involve God and shun negative third-party interference, break negative parental foundation and mutually work to attain marital success. 
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© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 

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