Sunday, 25 March 2018


It's basically because of your future. Your head is too small to pick a spouse by yourself. You need the God of heaven to show you who is made for you and compatible with your vision, aspiration and dreams.
Marriage is complex. People are complex. There are some things you will never know about yourself until you get married. Our real self comes out under pressure. Marriage is a place you experience constant pressure.
There are some dreams you never know you are capable of having till you marry. There are weaknesses that won't show up until you start living under thesame roof with your spouse. If you pick someone who does not have all it takes to help you become what God wants you to be, you will live in frustration, pain, depression, sorrow, regret, failure and guilt for the rest of your life.
Let God show you your future and the person who is capable of walking with you.
I never knew I would one day be a blogger! I had always been a writer but blogging, publishing, online personality? No! Marriage brought me out. My husband suggested it and it launched me to limelight. I love blogging with my entire breath. What if I had married someone who hates blogging?
Then the weaknesses! Oh Lord! I was a sweet single lady who was morally sound, loved God, gentle, very versatile and hard working. I had a good job and paid all my bills myself so I wasn't a liability. A friend once told me with pain in his voice that my husband is very lucky. And you know when a man tells you that with pain, it means he wishes you were the one he married. But was my husband really lucky few years after marriage? Hell, no! I was a raging inferno! Weaknesses I never in my entire life knew I had came gushing out. I was verbally abusive! I was proud, rude, pompous, arrogant, stubborn and very abusive! I would fly into rage and call my husband very many derogatory names. It was a surprise I hadn't slapped him during one of our arguments.
I never abused anyone as a single person. I would never abuse, never curse, never fight, never do those hurtful things but few years in marriage, I became a venom! Did I marry a man who provoked me? No! I had a troubled childhood. I went through lots of pain, hurt and emotional/verbal abuse while growing up. I had stuffed the hurt and pain in. Marriage is a place where you can't hide your pain so they came out in torrents. If I had married a man who does not have the capability to handle my weaknesses, I would have divorced many years ago.
My husband helped me heal. He would look at me with compassion, calm me down and counsel me. Sometimes he would shake his head, smile and call my name sweetly. Sometimes I would break down and weep, "Why do I keep hurting you? Why can't I just be like you? I'm so sorry!" He would simply smile, gather me in his arms and soothe me. Some people say I'm lucky to have that kind of man. It is because I married God's will. He had been divinely wired to absorb my weaknesses and help me with his strengths.
I am a completely different woman today. God needed to deal with my pain so he gave me a man only He had prepared to handle it. What would have happened if I had married a man who couldn't take all that rubbish?
My dear sisters and brothers, marrying God's will for our lives is not something we should joke with, it affects our lives and destiny. It's the difference between life and death.
Many women wouldn't have been beaten to death if they had married their own bone and flesh. Many men wouldn't be living in penury, poverty, lack and want if they had married God's will for their lives.
I am presently enjoying my marriage. It has been heaven on earth. I love my very dear husband and submit to his leadership with pleasure. Loving, serving and obeying him is something I want to do over and over again. I love being his wife day in day out. He is God's perfect will for me and I am so lucky! 

Thanks for reading. God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun Oladele

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