Sunday, 29 April 2018

2 Things You Must Consider Before You Say YES.

Every single would someday look forward to that very day when he or she would make a proposal or accept it from the person he or she has chosen to live with for the rest of his or her life. It's such a glamorous day having escaped the hurdles of being alone, the temptation and intimidation that sometimes come from friends or family members who are engaged or married. It's a big thing to have scaled through all of that. 
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Don't be surprised if what I'll share with you 'disappoints' what you have been familiar with in recent times or what other articles or relationship experts must have expose you to. We have different knowledge about life and the knowledge that comes from excels other forms of knowledge. 
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The compatibility thing, such as financial, physical, societal or sexual (which I detest before marriage) don't count. It's good to have preferences but importantly it's best if you consider the following stances. 
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1. The place of God
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Oh! What has God got to do with making or accepting a proposal? Relax!
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God created man and the institution of marriage. You cannot excel in life without the place of God. Do you agree with that? And those who excel only become miserable in the world to come. 
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God can lead you if you want to and that other Christian marriages fail doesn’t mean God is a failure, it was the failure of the parties in involved. It takes God's guidance to marry the right person and following His principles to have a successful marriage. And only God knows who's right for you. But oftentimes, you too also know except you're not sincere with yourself. 
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The likes of how tall, rich, dark and handsome he is doesn't guarantee him to be the right man. Even how sexy, endowed or beautiful she is wouldn't make her a good wife. 
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That he has everything you want in a man or she is a wife material doesn't make him or her your own helper or help meet respectively. God knows and let Him guide you if you want. 
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God knows what is best for you and what you don't know. Few years into the marriage, do you know if that man or woman would remain the person you want to marry or still live with? 
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I'm sure you don't know. It's best you allow Him guide you. If you allow Him do, He will save you from future regrets and unforeseen circumstances. He will save you from pretenders or anything that would affect you in the future. 
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Wouldn't you allow Him?
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2. Who is he/she going to be in your life?
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This comes in a question form, have you thought of it? Take time to reflect on it!
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As a man, aside the curves and the external features, would she be a plus to your life or a deficit to your life? Soberly reflect on it. 
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A woman is meant to be a help meet to your life. In case you don't know, not all women out there are help meet. Many of them are just having the features of a wife material and marital fulfilment is beyond that, she must be a help meet for your life as a man. But if you do not have anything to help God with, you’ll care less about this truth. That she has everything you want or look compatible doesn't make her the right one. You need God at this junction! 
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Marriage is more than having sex or eating good food, except you don't have a purpose in life. Can she help your dreams, motivate you, encourage you or support your purpose in life? If she can't fulfill those needs, it's better you don't propose because you'd be frustrated in the marriage in future. 
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Ladies, a man must be a man. I mean someone strong enough to live with a woman, not a boy. Someone who has the wisdom and patience to dwell with you in knowledge. Someone who's responsible to make wise decisions and who has the ability to lead you rather than boss or rule you. Not all men have these qualities even from first impression. 
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A man isn't a boy or a player. Not someone who flirts around with girls when he has a wife at home. 
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All these and more are what you as a lady should consider rather than be carried away with the side attractions he splashes on your face. 
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Marriage is a lifelong journey and it's worse to journey with someone who would make your journey a miserable or burdensome one. Wisdom implies that you consider the place of God before making or accepting a proposal. Has He said anything yet? 
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If He hasn't, don't step your legs into the deep waters of marriage lest you become drowned. Moreso, consider if he is fit to lead you in love or she's a suitable help meet to your destiny. When God leads you, every other things would fall in place. 
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© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 

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