Wednesday, 4 April 2018

HOW TO LOVE A HURTING WOMAN.

Many women are hurting. Issues arise from the past to poison the present if not well handled.
Most women have gone through abuse: either emotional, sexual or verbal. Top on the list of the whole mess is having an uncaring father and living in a very hostile environment.
Hurting women easily get angry. If she had trusted so much in the past and had her heart broken, she may find it difficult trusting you. She will be suspicious of your movements and doubt your love for her until you prove it to her over and over again.
Hurting women easily cry. She has lots of emotions she has suppressed over the years and needs you to soothe her not get mad at her when she breaks down, with time, she will get over her past but now, she s hurting badly, very badly.
Hurting woman are very jealous and suspicious of every woman she sees around you. She has suffered so much rejection in her past she feels you will reject her and go after the new chick. Reassure her of your love over and over again and do not do anything that will stir her jealousy.
Verbally abused woman are abusive. They hurl words at you without thinking and call you names only to go on their knees and beg you after the madness is over. Understand that she had suffered abuse and the best way she could respond to correction is abuse. Pray for her, correct her in love and show her compassion instead of abusing back or beating her.
Raped women are sometimes frigid, hate sex and can be unresponsive. Visit a sex therapist or marriage counsellor together, be patient, till she fully recovers from her past and warm up to you.
Emotionally abused women are manipulative, sometimes callous and hard hearted. She had been hurt over and over again and that is the best way she could protect herself from further hurt, pain and rejection.
Physically abused women are aggressive, domineering, controlling, violent and easily pick fights. Be cool headed when she's provoked and avoid her till she calms down. Responding to her when she's mad may lead to domestic violence and well, your untimely death.
This may sound very scary to men who want a perfect wife 24/7. Unfortunately, the world is not perfect and do not raise perfect women.
If you see an angel of a wife, all mature, sensible, lovely, loving, wise and so sweet, her husband made her so. Ask the man what he went through to achieve that and you will be amazed.
Marriage is not for boys and girls. It's for mature men and women. Men who are ready to love like Christ loves the church and practice 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 daily in their marriages.
This post is not an excuse for women to mis-behave in their marriages while hoping their fazzled husbands will understand. If you want to be loved, you must be lovable. Work on your weaknesses, be a virtuous woman and a blessing to your husband. You are a virtuous woman indeed when you give your husband peace of mind.
Practice 1 Peter 3:1-4 daily in your marriage and pray for the grace to be a Proverbs 31 woman every single day of your life. With this, you will both experience heaven on earth in your marriage and wish to marry them over and over again. Thanks for reading. God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun Oladele

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