Wednesday, 25 April 2018

LESSONS TO LEARN ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS

Relationship is not a bad thing, it is a good experience especially if you have it right but the question is; do you really need a relationship? 
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I started work when I was still in school and occasionally I feel unhappy, worn out and lonely, I always crave for a shoulder to cry on or lean on for love, support and maybe encouragement, all these I thought I could only get from a man.
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I had some relationships which did not last. Recently, I remembered a particular one that when my ‘boyfriend’ offends me, I will go to a place and cry my heart out. While remembering everything that was going on with me which means when things are ‘smooth’ I feel normal, but a little challenge reminds me of my situation and I wish to have a way out of my state of unhappiness.
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Several relationships I had taught me different lessons and it'll be good if you learn from them. What are these lessons I learnt?
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*Lesson 1: Relationship is not a source of happiness.*
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If your happiness is tied to being in a relationship, it means you really do not need a relationship but you need a direction. 
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If you believe that a loving relationship will ease the emptiness inside you, the harsh reality is that no relationship is ever going to be able to “fill you up.” 
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Once the easy emotional connection and satisfaction of “new love” wears off; you’ll find that you’re not “filled up” after all and no matter what he/she does or says, ultimately it won’t be good enough or feel good enough for you because you haven’t worked on yourself.
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*Lesson 2: Master your emotions* 
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I thought being in a relationship is the only way I could ease myself from the tension of the situation I was then, I crave for attention and love at the detriment of my destiny. I allowed anything because I needed to be in the relationship at all cost. 
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Yes there will be situations where you may feel down and wished you have someone to share it with you, but you have to be careful of this so as for you not to build intimacy with someone who is not your spouse which many times leads to assumed relationship.
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In fact, if care isn't taken, the other party may take advantage of your vulnerability.
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*Lesson3: Don't build your life around the relationship*
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Your life should not evolve round a relationship, even in marriage, you should not get lost in a relationship; be able to find yourself and build purpose. 
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Don’t be too focused on the compliments you get from him/her but be more concerned with your accomplishments. There's something that you can accomplish with that seed of greatness in you. 
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Just like I say all the time, let your vision be greater than your passion! 
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*Lesson 4: Not everyone you met has come to stay*
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Some people will leave you but that is not the end of your story; that is just the end of their part in your story. Pick up yourself and be happy. 
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Your happiness and confidence are directly proportional to the degree that you (especially singles) surrender your life to God and not a lover. When you do that, you will experience unlimited joy and contentment, limiting loneliness to the insignificant role it deserves.
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When the butterflies in your stomach stop tickling, what will remain?
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Oluwatoyin Aremu.

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