Monday, 28 May 2018


I tell 95% of my single counsellees to end their relationships! What most of them call relationship is nothing but abuse! If you experience any of these, no matter how madly in love you are with that person, it's time to let go!
1. YOU DO ALL THE CHASE: A loving relationship is mutual. A woman shouldn't chase a man who has no interest in her. If he truly loves you, he should chase you, if you like him respond to the chase. After the proposal and acceptance, both of you should chase each other. He loves you, you love him too. He calls you, you call too. That is balance! He takes you out, you respond, balance! If as a man you are the one doing all the call, the chase, the chat, the bills, the dates, you have no relationship! If as a lady, you do all the call, visit, chat, dates, etc, that man does not value you, let the relationship go!
2. THEY RIDICULE YOU: That is verbal abuse! Constant jesting, laughing at you, making fun of you, ridiculing you, looking down on you and treating you like a non-entity shows they lack respect for you. Of course in a good relationship, you play and laugh together but if they are always laughing at you instead of laughing with you, end the relationship!
3. THEY ARE STUBBORN AND PROUD! Red flag! In a marriage bound relationship, both of you should be humble enough to adapt to each other! If they are heady, stubborn, pompous, proud, sassy, rude, myopic, opinionated, heady and arrogant, end the relationship! If they take your words with a pinch of salt, do not value your person and treat you like they are doing you a favour for proposing or agreeing to marry you, let the spoilt brat out of your heart, he's not worth it. She is too full of herself to be a good wife! Loose them them and let them go!
4. THEY ALWAYS ASK FOR SEX: And you keep saying no, and they keep asking, first time, second time, third time, fourth time, fifth time, excuse me, end the relationship fast and don't look back!
5. THEY ALWAYS IRRITATE YOU: There is no need to get married. If all the person does irritates and annoys you instead of make you happy and give you pleasure, you are with another person's bone and flesh, end the relationship!
6. YOU DON'T LIKE HOW THEY LOOK: Physical attraction is very important in marriage please! My husband tells me at least 3 times daily I'm so beautiful to him. He practically says I'm hot! I tell him I like every part of his body from head to toe. Just looking at him gives me pleasure. Marriage has not changed my structure, I only added more flesh, marriage didn't make him shorter, darker or lighter, he's the same guy I've always known. Their physique won't change in the next 20 years! If you hate how they look now, you will further hate it years after marriage. Loose them and let them go! © Seun Oladele, 2017.
7. THEY ARE REFUSING TO INTRODUCE YOU TO THEIR FAMILY: Either he is a married man or she is ashamed of you. If both of you are mature and ready for marriage, there is no reason why they should not introduce you to their family.
8. THEY ARE HOT TEMPERED! And he is not doing anything about it. He goes completely berserk on provocation and even slaps you, she goes crazy and calls you all manner of derogatory names and you keep putting up with that trash because you are in lust with her, I pity your future! If you don't want that man to batter you in marriage and the woman to pour hot water or acid on you, end the relationship!
9.YOU ARE SCARED OF THEIR FAMILY BACKGROUND: Like they die prematurely, they don't make it in life, they divorce few years after marriage or are barren in their family and you are so so scared you do not want it to rob off on you. You should be able to join faith with your partner and break that curse, if you can't, end the relationship!
10.HE HAS NO JOB: Nothing whatsoever and he wanna get married, sister, use your head and drive that guy to use his two hands, two legs and medulla oblongata to get at least a room apartment for you both, cooking pots, gas or stove, a bed, 2 chairs, study table and a hand fan if he can't get a standing or ceiling fan. If he is hardworking and has a great vision for his future. In 3 years, you should move to a higher level of comfort but if he is lazy and depends on you for everything, you better run! You are to work as well and assist him financially, he shouldn't dump all the load on you, let him go!
11. THEY ARE TOO CLOSE TO THE OPPOSITE SEX: In courtship, after God, you are number one. If he is still frolicking around ladies, hugging every Rose, Mary and Fatimat, chatting and calling strange ladies while claiming they are just "friends", you are dealing with a flirt! End the relationship! If she uses a strange guy's picture as her profile picture and has lots of questionable guys as her friends, she is double dating, end the relationship!
12: THEY ARE STINGY: If you love, you will give with abandon. "For God so love that he gave..." if they are tight fisted and stingy, they do not love you, end the relationship!
13. YOU HATE THEIR DRESSING: Settle this once and for all in courtship. If you want her to wear make up and trousers, let her know. If she adjusts, fine, if not, please, let her go in peace. You will always meet hot ladies in trousers after marriage and you will lust after them. If you want him to wear Jeans, tank tops, Jerseys and fitted clothes, drum it in his ears now or else you marry and resent your husband as you see guys parading you in Jerseys!
Lots of shit happen in marriage! I meet men who drool over my little make up and the wife at home will stubbornly refuse to make up for her husband for whatever reason that suits her. I had to stand on a friend's neck to trim her eye brow and wear make up. I was tired of her husband chasing me around because I wore something he liked! She changed a little and relapsed! I had to permanently end the relationship. I was sick and tired of the man's attention!
14. YOU HATE THEIR CHURCH especially as a lady, you must like his church because that is where you will be attending after wedding. If you can't adjust or adapt to his church's doctrine, loose him and let him go!
14. YOU DO NOT AGREE SPIRITUALLY: She believes in tithe, you hate tithing, he is a fasting freak, you hate fasting with passion! He loves evangelism, you prefer to cuddle in front of a romantic movie, this is a major disparity, end the relationship!
These and more are red flags! If your partner exhibits any or all of these, end the relationship. Don't manage, there is no manage in marriage. Divorce courts are filled with people who wished they never married their partners! I have told some of my counsellees in terrible marriages heading towards divorce: "If you had sought my counsel when you were single, I would have told you not to marry this man!" The pain of divorce is not what I wish upon my worst enemy. Do not leave God out of your decisions. Pray and let Him guide you. You will not mis-choose in Jesus' name. 


© Seun Oladele

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