Wednesday, 16 May 2018


He sent me this:
"Some time ago, I met a lady. I saw her first when I just left secondary school. She was a sister to a friend and a secondary school mate of mine. I liked her, but on the contrary like teenagers normally do, I never approached her and never nurtured any plans to do so. Which was unusual as a teenager who sees a girl he likes and approaches her. This one felt different not like what I felt for the girls I dated in secondary school.
All I wanted was to be friends with her. But we never got the chance to talk except when I helped her out with an assignment she brought home from school.
Time passed, years passed, I did not see her again and life went on, till I got invited to her church for a youth programme.
There, we were asked to exchange numbers and interact with each other. That day, I got her number. Several months passed, going to a year and counting I never called, but things continued as normal.
One faithful day, I was going through my contact list and stumbled on her number and I decided to call. She was in school and I had to re-introduce myself and that was the beginning of our friendship. She still couldn't get a picture of who I was, she just knew that a certain Chukwuemeka (not real name) she met in church calls her often. I kept calling her to check up on her and she so much loved to hear from me, she was so happy and always looked forward to my calls.
Even when she came for the holidays, we didn't see and she still didn't have an idea of how I looked like, until one faithful day her brother who is my friend and ex secondary school mate came around and I followed him home that day. I sat there in their sitting room and there she was watching TV with no slightest idea who I was till her brother called my name and immediately she heard it she looked at me, she asked, "Are you Chukwuemeka who always call me?" I smiled and said "Yes."
I remember vividly how excited she was. Then I knew I had to come visit her each time she came back from school and she looked forward to it because she would call me a day or two days to the day she will be coming back. We became friends even though I had genuine feelings for her I just wanted us to be friends and I know the feeling was mutual.
As our friendship grew, I knew at a point we both wanted it to go a step further, but then, I felt I wasn't ready, she was in school, just about a year or two for her to graduate and I still haven't gotten admission. Then I started to withdraw, I didn't know what was happening but I just knew I was not seeing her like I used to even though I wanted to, but I never stopped calling. Till one fateful day she told me something that broke my heart. I called her that day and these were her words " Chuks, you don't come to see me anymore. You don't come around for us to talk anymore." It broke my heart... Ma, the amazing thing is the Peace I felt whenever I am with her. I started seeing the possibilities of us being life partners and I was at Peace with it. Then I knew that I wanted to be with her forever. I even informed my Pastor about her and we prayed and GOD spoke and I grew more confident that there was everything thing right about us.
But along the line, we grew farther away. I became so preoccupied with getting admission and getting a job, fear of not being able to meet up because at some point I knew I had to be financially stable for us to be able to go the distance. But at the expense of our friendship, I became so preoccupied I forgot I had to let her know how I feel and my intentions towards her but when I finally summoned the courage to tell her, it was too late. She asked me why I didn't say anything back then. She got married January last year and now I wish I had done things differently. Now I spend days wondering if I had opened up what would have happened. Like the saying goes, "it's better to tell someone how you feel than spend the rest of your days wondering what would have happened if you had done it. Sometimes I even shed tears at the thought of it..."
Honestly, this is the first message I got this year that brought me close to tears. My heart broke and I wondered what would have happened if he had spoken up on time.
Some ladies have complained to me the guys they are in friendship with are obviously in love with them but he is not proposing, what should they do?
Some ladies out rightly heard God reveal he is the one but the guy seems not to be showing marital interest, what should she do?
As a lady, who has heard God about a guy, I will advise you to pray fervently for God to open his eyes and grant him the boldness to speak out. Some men are under a satanic siege that will not allow them to see their future partner and miss it maritally while some are paralyzed with fear of rejection. You must also be patient till God speaks to him dear lady. 1 Corinthians 13 :4 says, "love is patient...." if you are impatient, you are not in love.
Men, learn to speak before it is too late. I meet men who regret marrying their wives and wish they married their best friend and soul mate whom they took for granted then.
If you are in love with her and wish to marry her, tell her. Don't be so scared of rejection, you hide your true feelings only to regret few years down the line.
Yes, you need to go to school and get a job. Work towards it. At the same time, be sensitive to God's leading when he eventually brings your soul mate to you. My ebook: "How to attract your perfect soul mate" will help in this regard.
That young man is now 34 and regretting his procrastination. Take action before it is too late. Propose now or you may loose her forever. If she accepts, congrats, if she rejects, no problem. Move on. God has someone better for you.
Chukwuemeka, take heart. God is a God of second chance. A better lady is coming your way, this time around, do not leave things to chance. Build friendship, date her and propose to her. You will be glad you took action on time. May you not miss your soul mate in Jesus' name. Thanks for reading. God bless you, cheers!

© Seun Oladele

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