Thursday, 28 June 2018


I told women recently, "if your husband is having an affair, the first question you should ask is, 'what is she giving him that I'm not giving him?'" Almost all the women got mad at the question. They accused me of abdicating men and dumping the blame of his infidelity on their head. They said they did everything a wife should do, yet their husband had an affair.
Majority of them called their husbands all sort of derogatory names. One called her husband "a community penis", another one called hers "a goat", another one called men "olojukoro", etc. They all saw themselves as saints and perfect and have done "all" they needed to do, yet their men went astray. I was shocked at their outrage! To be candid, I was not surprised that their husbands had an affair. Their actions showed that they were proud, rude, abusive, un-submissive, critical, judgemental and sassy. No man can have a peaceful marriage with that type of woman, he will try, but it will take the grace of God to resist a young, beautiful, loving, humble, compassionate, adoring mistress outside. His wife at home is everything he wants to forget.
I'm not justifying adultery. Under no circumstances should a husband sleep with another woman outside. He should learn to take full grip of his emotions and be a man worth emulating by his wife and children.
Nevertheless, if the wife is not meeting her husband's needs, he is likely to commit adultery. That is REALITY. Lots of people don't want to face reality, that is why adultery is on the increase at an alarming rate. The man married you so that you can meet his need. You can't hide or surpress your need, it must be met. That is why he married you and vice versa.God says he will meet all your needs, he knows he has to meet those needs or you look for another god to meet them. If you don't meet his need, another woman gladly will. That is the truth, the BITTER TRUTH.
When it comes to meeting a man's need what most women think first is sex. That is why they call their husbands dogs. They think, he has nothing else to think 247 than sex! That is why the mistress is winning! Because she knows things you don't know about your husband. The first thing he needs is not sex. Sex is not the real reason he was attracted to his girlfriend, RESPECT is. A man lose his senses for a woman who respects, honours and obeys him. He literally becomes possessed and go haywire for her. Some wives wonder why their CEO husband would run after his cleaner,she makes him feel like a man, not a kid or houseboy! If you don't know how to make your husband feel like your king, Lord, Emperor and President, you will lose him! It is the truth. I don't know how to decieve people. You either swallow this bitter pill and save your marriage or you lose him to a mistress who knows how to take care of a man.
Your appearance matters. Some women are stubbornly fat. They chose to eat junk, refuse to excercise, smell all day, yet believe they are the best wife in the world. If you do not meet his deep need for an attractive wife, you will lose him, slim down baby!
He wants a willing wife in bed. A wife who never turns her husband down and matches his rythm in bed anyday, anytime, anywhere, anyhow has his heart locked for her alone forever. No matter how gentle he looks outside, he wants you fierce in bed. Completely opened and inhibited.
He wants peace of mind too. He wants space, he wants you to pray for him and play with him.
Everyday, he yearns for the girl he married not the grandma Moses that smells beside him everyday.
He needs your forgiveness, compassion and mercy. He needs you to believe in him, stand by him and cover his nakedness. He needs you to want him, need him, yearn for him and desire him...he needs you to be there for him forever...
Are you really meeting his needs? Have you really done everything it takes to keep him from the mistress? We marry to serve our spouse not to be served. We marry for selfless reasons not for selfish reasons.When you sow good seeds on your husband the reward will come to you in many fold. He will love you more, cherish you, adore you and stay faithfilul to you forever.."...he that watereth shall be watered...." peace!

© Seun Oladele

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