Thursday, 28 June 2018

How to Be Romantic in Your Relationship or Marriage.

In the days of our fathers, before the advent of westernization, there’s a way they run their relationship which makes them enjoy each other's company, especially those who practice monogamy but some of them have a very boring and dry relationship. 
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In those days, they don't exchange flowers or write love poems but they do something in their relationship that makes them savor each other's company. Do you witnessed the throwing of stones on her father's roof to make her know that he's around? Or the meeting at the stream where she sings for him? That's ancient romance!
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However, in recent times, the words 'romance' and 'romantic' became more prominent as a result of what the media fed us with in movies, novels and lots of people are eager to practice or introduce it in their relationship but do not know how to go about it.
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Some spirikoko sisters have been swept off their feet because the guys they're in a relationship knows how to express romantic gestures and they were blind to ascertain if God has a stake in such relationship before they say yes to their proposal. 
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Romance is not about kissing, hugging and the likes, it is an intimate relationship between two people and it doesn't have to do with sex. People use the word 'romancing' to mean sex but romancing that leads to sex is caressing each other's body parts. You can't be caressing each other's sexual organs and not end in sex, however, romance is an expression of affection to someone you're in love with in a memorable way.
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You can be in a romantic love relationship and still maintain sexual purity but it comes with lots of discipline and maturity. A word of caution, never go into a romantic relationship if you're not married or engaged to be married to the person you're sure of or perhaps disciplined; because being romantic may be misinterpreted by the other party if boundaries aren't clearly defined. 
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How can I be romantic? Being romantic in a relationship leading to marriage or marriage is a function of so many factors. First, there must be...
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1. Willingness to spice up your relationship 
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The idea of many married people or those who are engaged to be married is not to add spice (flavor) to their relationship. They just want to do it the way it's done since the day of Methuselah.
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Without the willingness to change or spice up your relationship, it'll be so dry and there won't be memorable moments.
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It's a lie that being romantic affects spirituality. They are two different things. You can be romantic and not spiritual, and vice versa.
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So when you're open to making positive change, then you can see the change you want. 
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2. Unlearn the old method of sustaining a relationship
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Some people believe that the idea of an ideal relationship is just to talk, pray, gist and have sex etc. These may be the order but in a romantic relationship, there’s more to it.
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Being romantic is simply doing little things in a remarkable way or doing normal things in a memorable way. It doesn't have to lead to sex.
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For instance, one can be romantic in starting off a spiritual activity, say prayer. Instead of saying, "Sister Deborah pray for us" (assuming you're with your boo); you can say, "My pretty angel, can you please lead us to the throne of grace?" if she's not carnal, why won't she want to pray? 
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You can be romantic in words and deeds. I just gave an example on words.
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In deed, there are so many of them. Let me share some. Sending love messages, pictures and voice notes to your partner are some of the many ways to be romantic.
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On her birthday or his, you can be the first to call them, send text messages or pray for them. You can even target special hours of the day to do that. When he or she would get to work, break time, closing time or their arrival time at home. Don't steal my tips o!
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And you don't have to empty your bank account to be romantic, just be creative!
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3. Be creative
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Creativity is the mother of geniusity.
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Creativity is a skill, you learn it. It is an art, you practice it over and over until you master it. There are several romantic tips on the Internet that you can browse and learn from. Some may work here and some may not but the important thing is to learn what works for you and your spouse. 
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Be creative in your romantic expression of words and action. Don't just be too ancient or archaic in your relationship. Some men too love it when you're romantic and I believe most women loves it. Let it be mutually expressed.
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But before you begin to express romantic gestures, be sure you can sustain it all through the life span of your relationship. Many people only display romantic affection during their courtship but it wears off in marriage. That's not good for a business! 
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Don't forget these: being romantic doesn't make you carnal (for my spiritual brothers and sisters); you don't have to empty your bank account to be romantic, just do what you can in a memorable way to add flavor to your relationship. Shikena!
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© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 

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