Sunday, 10 June 2018


Ladies, please, make wedding easy for your husbands to-be. When your family make demands of the things to be bought and the dowry, stand for your man and appeal to your parents/family to cut down to the size he can afford.
If your husband is a multi-millionaire and can afford #500,000 dowry, 2 big cows, 5 bags of rice, 100 tubers of yam, 4 gallons of 50 litres palm oil, 20 crates of maltina, a basket filled with smoked fish, etc, etc, why not? He should go right ahead and supply them but if he is still struggling with a salary of thirty thousand naira and below and they want him to pay a dowry of #100,000 plus a mountain list of other things, they are sending him on a suicide mission!
Don't just watch and fold your arms while he gets drained of all his savings, resources and life investment because he wants to wed you. Many women suffer in marriage after the wedding is over. The man treats them like slaves while despising their in-laws.
I'm not asking you to truncate your family tradition. The dowry must be paid and lists of items supplied.
What I mean is, stand for him and appeal to your parents to cut things down to the size he can comfortably afford.
When my mother's aunt began making outrageous demands (my mum is late) and all plea to reduce it fell on deaf ears, I ran to my father's elder sister who slashed everything down and asked me to write whatever amount I wanted as dowry. My father-in-law is forever grateful to my father's family for making the wedding ceremony so easy for them. He sometimes recall the ceremony with a peaceful smile on his face.
Don't wait till yo grow gray hair in your father's compound before you do the needful. Don't allow scary bride list chase all your suitors away. You don't need to be 40 years old before you get married.
Be mature. Stand for what is right. Stand by your man and do all you can to make the wedding easy for him.
May the good Lord grant you understanding. God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun Oladele.

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