Monday, 16 July 2018

3 Indispensable Skills You Need to Make Your Marriage Successful.

Marriage is an institution that needed lots of things to make it work. A footballer without skills cannot be an exceptional player. A guitarist who doesn't know the techniques or skills to make his solo melodious cannot be sought-after. In marriage, when couples lack the much needed skills to make their marriage successful, it'll fail even if they were a match made in heaven. 
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The best time to develop these skills is when you're single. If you don't have them before marriage, you'll be faced with more challenges and if you focus on the right one at the wrong time, you'll set yourself up for destruction. 
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In no particular order, I present to you these three indispensable skills. 
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1. Problem-solving skill. In life, whether you're spiritual or carnal, good or bad, rich or poor, friendly to everyone or hostile; you'll be faced with problems at one point in time. Problems are inevitable in life. In fact, life becomes interesting based on the number of problems you can solve. A life without a challenge is a life that will be boring, unadventurous and cannot make progress. 
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Believe me, there will be problems in marriage whether you marry Prince Charming or Miss Right; it will surely come. 
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Problems in marriage ranges from physical to spiritual, emotional, financial, sexual, medical and whatever you can think from. Lest I forget, problems from in-laws would surface if you were unfortunate to get good ones. But I pray that God will favor you with a good spouse and good in-laws. 
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When any of these problems come, how do you intend to solve them? 
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To solve any problem in life, you need to first analyze the cause instead of reacting based on the outcome; next is that you must know the measure to be taken to solve the problem without causing an multiple effect and lastly, use the right strategy. 
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In the movie, War Room, Clara said something powerful, she said, "Victory don't come by accident but by using the right strategy". Marriage too doesn't become successful by chance, the right strategy or skill was adopted. Take for instance, if you came back from work tired and hungry and your wife hasn't prepared your meal. What will you do? Shout or throw tantrums? 
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Maturity is need to know what to do to solve the problem. If you're not mature you can't have the problem solving skills to solve your marital problems. There are some problems that are spiritually induced while some are caused by human error or misconception. Get the much needed skill to solve any problem in marriage because marriage will test what you're made of. 
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2. Management skill. Success in marriage is achieved when the parties involved are good managers of time, resources, people and themselves.
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Can you manage money? Ladies ought to be good managers but it's unfortunate that most ladies only buy intangible things. They buy what they don't need. Some guys too are like that. It's until when they have spent all their monies before they'll know that they have nothing left. Be a good manager of your finances. Money is meant to be made, managed and multiplied. 
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Time management is also crucial in marriage. You ability to carve out quality and quantity of time for your spouse is very important and at the same time utilize your time to run other matters effectively. You must know when to shut down your laptop or computer and go home. You must know when to turn off your data and spend quality time with your spouse but it's so bad that social media is taking spousal interaction in many homes. 
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Know how to manage people, this is important: the good, the bad and ugly. This boils down on how patient and tolerant you are. If you don't know how to manage relationships, you'll have problems with them. I watched a divorce courtroom session online and the wife had to be calling her husband's friends and family that her husband is now married and won't be spending time with them. Isn't that weird? She lacked the ability to handle relationships. You need to love everyone, expect good from them and do not expect too much from anyone so that when they disappoint you, you won't have heartache. 
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Lastly on management skills, know how to manage your little beginnings. Don't start dreaming of living big when you're just growing. Ladies, don't drive your husband nuts so that he can meet your selfish need or compare him with Jack Roe who treats his wife well. Enjoy the little you have so that you can enjoy your marriage peacefully and when God blesses you two, you can afford whatever luxury you want. 
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3. Sexual skill. This is very crucial. I purposely made it the last because many are honing their sexual skills outside the atmosphere of marriage and if you are among them, you're preparing excellently for marital failure. 
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Sexual skill is needed to make marriage succeed. It is not about the crazy style or size that matters, it's how to make your partner enjoy the wonderful blessing of sexual intimacy. Sexual intimacy isn't just one sided, it should be mutually benefited but some men just rush in and rush out thinking they've made love. Posses foreplay, lovemaking and afterplay skills. Don't ask me how I know this. Learn the theory when you're about to marry because reading it when marriage isn't in view will set you up for sexual fantasies which is sinful. 
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I don't want to make a volume out of this. Which other skills do you think it's necessary to make marriage successful? Be generous to share so that others can learn and be blessed. 
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I remain your friend, 
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© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi.

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