Thursday, 12 July 2018

Handling Emotional Weakness in Relationships.

We all are emotional creatures - both men and women but the degree of emotional maturity and stability varies in individuals. It has been commonly said that women are more emotional than men but I can boldly tell you that there are men who cry when a lady breaks their heart or assume wrongly when they see their partner talking with the opposite sex. It's even that bad that you see them cry. Isn't that weird or funny? 
.
It's not a crime to cry whenever the situation demands but becoming too emotional in the trivial issues of life makes it a weakness. Because of emotional weaknesses, lots of people had become victims in their relationship, either of hurt or illicit sex. It takes emotional bonding to feel connected to your partner. Love can be sometimes emotional but it (emotion) should not be the primary basis for loving. 
.
An emotionally weak partner will be highly vulnerable in the relationship. When you're in a relationship with an emotionally weak partner, the strong partner often becomes the 'mother' while the weak becomes the 'baby' regardless of their gender. In this relationship, there would be lots of pampering, begging, confusion and indecision. 
.
You'd never be able to tell whether their emotional immaturity is a sign of love or it's something else. If a woman is married to an emotionally weak man, she must be strong and prepared to act like a man in the relationship. And if you're dating an emotionally weak man or woman, you're in for a trap. 
.
When you discover that your partner is emotionally weak, especially when you're not in a marriage relationship, there's something you need to do to get out of the relationship otherwise you will become frustrated or vulnerable to their weaknesses. 
.
Signs that your partner is emotionally weak:
.
1. They feel insecure 
2. High degree of jealousy (over-protective)
3. They hurt themselves when you threaten to quit the relationship (In friendship or other non-marital relationship)
4. They're domineering - a controlling freak. 
5. They complain of loneliness when you don't keep in touch
6. They're full of suspicion or assume wrongly 
7. Anger
.
How to handle an emotionally weak partner
.
If you being in a relationship with them threatens your life and well being, most especially when it makes you a victim of illicit sex or immorality, you need to act fast otherwise it would rob you of freedom, peace and fulfillment in life. To handle such relationship, do the following. 
.
1. Gradually withdraw or disconnect the flow of communication. If you make yourself excessively available for them, you're only strengthening the bond of intimacy. But when you begin to break the flow of communication such as not picking all their calls or responding to all their conversation, there will be disconnection in whatever makes them bond with you. They'll notice the withdrawal but you'll do yourself lots of good if you do gradually withdraw. 
.
2. Be productively engaged. Just because you two had been leisurely or pleasurably engaged, there's need for you to replace that vacuum that's about to be created. Find something productive to do with your life and destiny rather than feel empty without them. Focus more on your academics, destiny and how you can become a better person in whatever your hand finds doing. 
.
3. Quit the relationship. Yes, quit if you're not married. And if you're married but your partner is enrages when he or she is angry, then you need to be separated from them till they get a cure to their anger issue. Destructive anger has led more people to their untimely grave and when they're calm, they blame the devil. Help yourself before they destroy you. 
.
And if you're the emotionally weak partner, do these to help yourself. 
.
1. Master the art of self-control. Everything done without control becomes an excess. Learn to control your emotions when you feel the impulse to act, talk, feel or react. Always determine the consequence before you act rather than face it after you have reacted. 
.
2. Learn to be independent. Whether in marriage or friendship, everyone needs their space to do want they want to do in life. You cannot expect your partner to be available two four seven everyday in the week with you. The relationship will wear off and that's parasitic. But when there is some degree of space, the relationship becomes interesting when you bond. Learn to be emotionally independent rather than lean on to your partner for every of your needs. 
.
3. Love yourself. When you don't, you'll make your partner fill that space in you. When you love yourself, you're happy with yourself and you do not need anyone to validate your worth or make you feel important. Loving yourself is not pride, it is accepting who God has made you to be. No one can treat you better other than how you treat yourself. 
.
4. Be patient. Learn to tolerate others and forbear whenever they offend you. Patience is the greatest virtue you need in life because it helps you to accommodate others in spite of their shortcomings or weaknesses.
.
Not everyone in life became emotionally stable or mature in life. Life taught many to be emotionally strong the challenges it throws at them. But importantly, you need the Spirit of God to work out the fruit of the spirit in you so that your emotional weakness can be converted to strength. Remember, it's not a crime to be emotionally weak but it's foolishness to remain so. 
.
© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi.

No comments:

Post a Comment