Monday, 23 July 2018

THE FIRST 5 YEARS OF MARRIAGE.

Is the adapting stage of marriage. How you handle this period determines how your marriage will eventually turn out. Differences in marriage are inevitable, both of you will show your true colour, your preferences will clash, your tastes will override but all in all you will come out better, stronger and more in love if you handle this period with maturity.
I like to eat my food steaming hot, I mean hot! Hubby likes his food cold, I mean cold! I planned we would both be eating from the same plate immediately after honeymoon, we ended up arguing over the food and had to separate plates eventually! I must take my food hot! Hubby must take his own cold! By the time he is through with his marathon prayer over the food I would be boiling with anger! The steam on my food is gone, it's barely warm and I would complain throughout the meal. Sometimes I would dig my spoon while he is still praying and eat it hot before he is through with his prayer of thanks.
Smiles...that stage is gone now. I still eat hot food but not like before. I eat it warm and if it is cold, bless the Lord. Hubby still eat cold food but he is catching up with me. He is learning to dig in his spoon when it is hot but he is not a pro like me. Warm food is his best. Smiles...
Lots of other differences came up we had to settle one by one.
No fairy tale marriage where all is laughter and smiles and no single argument, conflict of ideas, philosophies, beliefs, tradition, background, spiritual conflicts, etc exists. Every marriage goes through this, learn to handle yours with wisdom:
1. Learn to compromise: You can't always have your way. If hubby wants palm oil for cooking soup and you prefer coconut oil, add 50% coconut oil, 50% palm oil. Both of you will feel the taste in your food.
2. Shift: when one is proving stubborn, the more mature one should shift for peace to reign. When you are both calm, you can both re address the issue.
3. Don't deal with issues when you are angry, you will say or do things you will regret. You can take a stroll out if the heat is too much to bear. Don't pour your frustration on your husband/wife.
4. Learn to see things from your partner's perspective. It will help you understand why they behave the way they do and help you adapt to them.
5. Read good books on how to build a successful marriage.
6. Both of you should talk to a mentor you both respect when the challenges are beyond you and you don't know how to handle them.
7. Pray for your marriage, partner, children and family always, it helps you see clearly and handle your conflicts with wisdom.
This period is just a phase, it will pass. If you handle it with maturity, you will come out better, bigger, happier and sweeter.
There is no big deal about our challenges, it is the way we handle them that makes them a big deal.
I look forward to seeing you have one of the best marriages in the world.
Thanks for reading. 

God bless you. 

Cheers!

© Seun Oladele

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