Wednesday, 8 August 2018


When you are meeting your fiance's mother the first time, should you buy her a gift? Lots of ladies ask me this question. We are presently discussing this at USAC. Some said they will, some said, they won't. Basically, it depends on the kind of family you are marrying into.
Ask your partner before embarking on the journey the traditions, philosophies and beliefs guiding the family before you visit, this will help you know what to do, expect and how to compose yourself. Don't just get excited, run out of control and look stupid before your future mother-in-law.
I will not advise you to go with a gift on your first visit as some mothers see it as bribery or a sign of desperation. We know you are a giver and very generous, but wisdom should be applied when giving. You may give on the second or third visit. Ask your fiance what she likes. Some mothers will appreciate anything you give while some are very selective. You won't be happy if your precious gift is not appreciated after spending your hard earned money on it.
Guys can give on a first visit. It creates the impression they have the capacity to take care of their daughter. That's the way some families think, not all.
Don't forget to dress well when visiting please. Close your laps and stop spreading your pant before your father, mother, brothers and sisters-in-law.
Only talk when necessary. Answer questions diplomatically. Don't run off the mill with your answers. Yes, you are an extrovert, loving and charming, this is your first visit, all eyes are on you. Behave yourself. Act maturely.
Ladies, take your plates to the kitchen after you have been served please. Don't wait for his mother to do that. Don't allow your fiance do that in the presence of his mother. Yes, he loves you and should show it but common sense should be applied when visiting your in-laws to be the first time.
Carrying the plate to the kitchen doesn't make you cheap or a slave. It shows basic home training, humility and service.
Greet according to your culture. Genuflect. Don't stand still like a NEPA pole. Kneel if you are Yoruba. Respect your mother-in-law. Show courtesy to everyone. I will stop here because of time.
Thanks for reading. God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun Oladele.

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