Thursday, 2 August 2018

How do you know if this man (or woman) is the right one or not?

She asked.
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My response. 
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The ability to discern if a man is right or wrong is beyond the human senses. My sista and broda, somethings dey wey your eyes no fit see or know if they are right or wrong. Wetin good for ya face today fit no good tomorrow. 
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For instance, you fit buy a good shoe today and after you don wear am for some days, you no go like am again because e dey pain you for leg, you go come leave am go buy another one. But when it comes to knowing the right person to marry, you must examine their suitability beyond feelings or physical factors.
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The kain wedding wey some people dey do dis days no be for here, later you go come hear say dey wan divorce or you go hear say bro don get anoda babe for outside. Worapun? No choose dat man or woman because dey fine for face alone o!
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Knowing the right person to marry cannot be done the way you buy shoes in the store. Because marriage is not man’s institution, you need to consider the role of the One who knows the right person for you. 
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See ehn, I can give you a long list of signs you should consider in that bae or boo to make you choose right, the best that these methods will do for you is to only help you choose based on the wisdom of men but it will not help you see in the light of God’s wisdom. 
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Sebi you kuku know say the foolishness of God is wiser than the wisdom of men. 
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If you want to have a good marriage, you need to dig deep into the content of their soul and spirit. This is where the issue of trusting in God comes into play.
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Abeg read Proverbs 3:5-7
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You need to prayerfully, patiently and carefully check him to ascertain if he is the right one.
On the issue of prayer, you must pray yourself o otherwise you go enter one chance if you only depend on MOGs to pray for you. Do you know the spiritual condition of that MOG you told to pray for you? Abeg, wetin do you own mouth wey you no fit talk to Baba God? 
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MOG or prophet no go follow you enter the marriage, na wedding bus stop dem go follow you reach, and if yawa gas inside your marriage, dey go tell you to endure or sort yourself. It is better to prayerfully know if he or she is right for you and later go to MOG or prophet for confirmation. 
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Abeg, no go meet dem if you never pray. Aside the fact that there are fakes and original, you need to hear from God yourself first! God never go sabbatical leave, na you dey do something wey make hin far from you. You fit geht close to God as you choose to be.
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If you wan know if that bro or sista na your bones or flesh of your flesh, you need to be patient. No rush! It takes patience to marry right and it takes patience to have a good marriage. No rush to tell dat broda say you go marry am even if you don know say na d one. 
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My man, no tell dat fine babe to marry you if you never do you calculation well well? 
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Never allow pressure from within or without push you. You need patience to pray and be sure and confirm from one or two persons for the truth to be established. You even need patience to study the person small after you don do your assignment in the place of prayer. 
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Bros, don’t go and rush to that sister and propose to her if you have not at least been friends with her. You wan marry stranger ni?
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Now, make I yarn you small gist why you need to be careful. Some bro or sister go waka come your domot as being single when you no know say dem be double. Some people fit deceive the devil wey deceive Eve for the garden so tey you no go no say dey don marry. 
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And shey you know say some people can pretend so tey you go think say dey are nice and caring, na when dey won propose dey go dey form gentleness or holier than thou but when they enter marriage lai dis, you go see their true colour. 
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Now make I speak small grammar.
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On another approach to know if they are the right person, does he or she buy into the same purpose you are pursuing in life? If not, do not consider them to be the right one. You need to discover God’s purpose for your life to know this. Eve was made for Adam on the premise of purpose; sex, making babies or living together as couples were not in the foremind of God at the initial.
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Do not base your determination of a man or woman being right on mundane things such as how tall, dark, rich and handsome he is or how well he makes you laugh, he being caring and the likes or that because she is beautiful, sexy and endowed...marriage is more than that. 
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Lastly, work on yourself to be the right person. You can never know the right person if you have not made yourself the right person. When you have made yourself the right person, then you can look into the content of their lives to see if they fit into what is right for you. This is not about having unreasonable preference but being realistic and it is based on purpose oriented factors. 
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Asides checking their character and attitude, do not take the PLACE OF GOD and DESTINY COMPATIBILITY lightly.
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I hope this helps?
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© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi.

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