Thursday, 16 August 2018


We all put our best foot forward in courtship. You were careful to apply your powder correctly, the lips stick was the right colour, you had your hair cut every 2 weeks, shirt well ironed and shoe shinning in all its glory!
You were the perfect gentle man any lady would dream of, never angry, always smiling, ever gentle, forever loving!
You were so sweet to look at, admired him a lot; you hung unto his words and would never dream of offending him. You were so respectful, peace loving generous, kind and humble to a fault. What happens 5 years after marriage?
He easily get angry, complains a lot, would not pick his clothe from the cushion, farts all over the house, rarely get his hair cut when due and even smells sometimes.
She flares up easily, get food burnt while cooking, rarely makes her hair when due, nags daily, won't listen to you when you talk and thinks you are the stupidest human being she has ever seen in her life.
Are these changes strange? Not at all. Were they pretending in courtship? No they have simply put their best foot forward. They weren't trying to deceive their partners, it's all part of courtship, the game of yore, trying to win their love and giving them your best.
What now happened after marriage? Familiarity, comfort, stress, pressure, daily exposure to each other wear off the desire to impress each other. You want to face reality and deal with issues as they come.
Your weaknesses will come out under pressure. Marriage experiences all manner of pressures daily. Nagging, shouting, screaming, yelling, abusing or fighting your spouse will not change your spouse.
As much as their weaknesses are driving you crazy, learn to approach your partner with respect. Sympathize with them please. No one likes to do things wrong, not you either. You yourself are not perfect, you have serious weaknesses your partner is tolerating and begging God to help you change.
Stop abusing them because of the things they are doing wrong. In case they never change despite all the correction and approach, hand them over to God in prayer and you act right. Teach them how to behave, act and do things right not by nagging but by your shinning example!
Ignore their weaknesses and love them regardless. Mature couples overlook each other's faults. When we know that our partner loves us unconditionally regardless of our weaknesses, mistakes and flaws, it motivates us to change. We unconsciously desire to be like them and do all in our power to make them happy.
May the Lord grant us all the grace to always do what is right.
May your marriage be sweet! May all bitterness be turned into sweetness, may your sorrow turn into joy, may your home become a haven of angels, blessing and prosperity. May you not loose your marriage. May God Himself dwell at the center of your home. You will not lose your family. Enjoy bliss forever more...
Thanks for reading. God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun Oladele

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