Monday, 13 August 2018

Why Do You Need a Relationship?

I marvel this days at the rate at which lots of young people dabble into relationships for the sake of intimacy with the opposite sex. Sadly enough, they inevitably had their fingers burnt. The terrible experience most people had was a result of the relationship they had in the past. 
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Do you know that life is more than pleasure? Do you really know why you need a relationship? 
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It is what you sow into life that you'll reap. You cannot sow corn and reap tubers of yam. You can't sow a life of pleasure and fulfill purpose. Ko possible! 
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Every relationship has a propensity to end in shambles if the partners involved do not stick to the right purpose. And if you don't know the purpose of a relationship, it's certain that you'll abuse it. 
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Can I ask you some questions? Why do you even need a relationship? Why are you in that relationship? What's your definition of a relationship? 
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Let's do justice to the first question. 
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If you cannot differentiate between your needs and wants, your want will destroy what you need. Please read it slowly again. 
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In life, we need someone to confide in. We need someone we can relate with as a friend. The need for companionship is different from the need for friendship. The need for a committed relationship is different from desiring a casual relationship. Needing someone to make you grow is different from ignorantly seeking for someone that will destroy you. So what are your needs? 
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Mind you, your present stage in life determines your need. A ten year old boy will die like a chicken if he dares drive a pick up van. Why many of you became victims in your relationship is because you entered into it too early. 
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How can you be in secondary school (high school) and be crying for a boyfriend or girlfriend? Why will you be hungry for a committed relationship when you haven't been committed to the fulfillment of God's purpose for your life? You can never put the cart before the horse and you won't destroy the cart. 
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Why do you need a partner when you're a weakling emotionally, spiritually, mentally and you even lack the ability to manage your life? 
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Truthfully sort out your needs and you'll discover that your wants are trivial. 
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If your reasons for desiring a relationship are not cogent, godly or God's purpose oriented, you'll destroy your life. 
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Your boyfriend or girlfriend or whoever you're in a relationship with demand for sexual intimacy when you cannot clearly spell out your needs. Are you're confused as to giving him or her or not? It is because you do not know what you need. 
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The state of your body or mind can influence your need. If you're feeling sexually arouse, you'll be needing a relationship to gratify your sexual feelings. When you're feeling lonely, you'll think going into a relationship will solve your problems. No, it won't. 
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Also, your level of maturity in life determines your need. Yorubas would say, "Owo tomode ba koko ni, akara lo ma fi je", meaning that the first money a child has, he'll use it to buy bean cake. And this is true of many of you. 
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Some, their early desire for a relationship was wired based on the Titanic movie or the Romeo and Juliet story they read. The more you grow older, you'll begin to see the need for something tangible in a partner than something temporal.
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Dear lady, if you don't know your need, a man will use you to fulfill either of his need or want. This they say that when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. And when a man doesn't know why he needs a woman, he'll treat her like a slave or sex object. 
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Weigh your needs pari pasu your purpose in life. If you're schooling, you need to make As in your courses. Running after young boys and girls is a total distraction. Who says first class or second class upper is for few? Nobody is born a mediocre, it's the choice you make that made you what you are. 
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Check that relationship now, does it meet your godly need, does it make God happy about you and does it help you to become a better person academically, spiritually, mentally or financially?
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What many of you need especially young ones who haven't discovered what life is worth living for is not a relationship but to GROW. 
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GET along in life. It's not about mingling with the opposite sex but to grow up to maturity emotionally, spiritually, financially, mentally and in the good things your hands find doing. 
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RID of distractions in life (boyfriend and girlfriend relationship or dating, peer pressure, youthful exuberance etc). 
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OVERCOME obstacles. There are obstacles to success in life, both spiritual and physical. Discover and conquer them. 
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WORK to become great in life. There's a seed of greatness in you that if you don't work it out, it'll rot inside you. The grave is the most richest place in the world because in it lies unwritten poems, unsung songs, unpublished books and unfulfilled ambition. 
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Don't let a destructive relationship destroy your life and destiny. 
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© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi.

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