Wednesday, 8 August 2018


Someone once asked me, "Why do good women end up marrying bad men while spoilt, rotten brats go home with the enviable, godly guys?" I smiled.
These "good" women are most times who psychologists call sanguines/ phlegmatic. They are the soft spoken, gracious, easy going, gentle, always smiling, never hurt a fly and never angry type of women. They are the kind of women who would never retaliate when anyone hurts them. They bear pressure sweetly no matter how boiling it is and will never oppose you or tell you NO!
Though these women appear great on the surface, they have major weaknesses and the chief of them is stubbornness. They have the will of an iron! If they are virgins as singles, they add pride to their feathers which make them self opinionated, myopic, proud, selective and adamant, these weaknesses are the exact reasons they marry wrong! Almost all san/phleg, phleg/san women I know marry wrong husbands and suffer greatly in the marriage!
Most of them appear religious though they are shallow and do not have a deep intimate relationship with Christ, hear Him clearly and pick the right man. Their pride and stubbornness also make them deaf to correction and wise counsel. Though the whole world tell them the man they are marrying is wrong for them, they are hell bent on marrying him! They do this passively though. They will smile sweetly, tell you they've heard what you said and do the exact opposite. Once a san/phleg's mind is made up, only the God of heaven can change it!
In marriage, they continue with their weaknesses of being proud and stubborn, driving their husbands mad and they are masters at nagging to the point of infuriating the man who may end up beating them!
The "bad" women are usually the cholerics. These are the hard drivers, goal getters who are blunt, straight forward and do not take nonsense! Because they have practical minds and know exactly what they want, they go home with their opposites: the gentle phlegmatic guys whose gentleness melt their hearts making them submissive and loving towards their husbands.
Character is what determines whether someone is good or bad, it's not the face, charisma or the personality displayed in public!
Some women look so gentle and innocent outside but inside they are snakes!They are more wicked than vampires and bite at any slight provocation!
Some women look tough but are very soft, accommodating and tender at heart.
And there are women who are soft on the surface and still soft at heart, likewise women who are hard on the surface and still wicked at heart. There are good san/phleg women, likewise bad cholerics. Let God show you the real person you are marrying.
You can't use looks to judge who a good wife is. "For man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart". That is why you seriously need to pray as a young man to know who God's will is for your life. If you use your little brain to pick a bride, you will fail miserably!
Marriage is not a child's play. Get close to God and let Him pick the best for you. You will not mischoose in Jesus name. God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun Oladele

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