Friday, 28 September 2018


Two people shouldn't be insane at the same time. When one loses his senses the other should keep his/her head, that is the way God designed relationships. If two mad people live under the same roof, the roof will soon be gone because they will burn it to ashes!
If you are cold, marry someone who is hot and vice versa. Don't marry someone who tries to change you. Your real nature, temperament, core person can never be changed.
If you marry someone who has the same strengths and weaknesses as you, they will see you as a threat, fight for your audience, abuse, criticize, judge and condemn you in order to tame you and eventually kick you out of their lives. Marrying your opposite helps you admire their strengths and have compassion for their weaknesses.
When you marry someone who is strong where you are weak and weak where you are strong, you will admire, help and chase each other forever! I will at this point recommend Tim Lahaye's book: OPPOSITES ATTRACT, it will help a lot.
I am a Sanguine/Choleric -a no nonsense, strict woman! I don't compete with women, I compete with men. I love logical presentation of facts, intelligent analysis of situations, mentally stimulating discussions and stupidity pisses me off. I am also bubbly and talk a lot when I'm excited. I hate gossip with passionate hatred so I do not have any close female friend.
That was a big challenge to some guys! I was an headache! Most of the guys attracted to me were Melancholy/Choleric and Sanguine/Melancholy, one was even Choleric/Sanguine! The relationships were often a tug of war! For the sanguine guys, they wanted me to keep quiet for them while they talk but I am sanguine too and gotta talk! Choleric wanted to give me commands but I am a commander myself so it was a real battle! I would not bow, I would not keep quiet. Tried as I could, I could not change myself to quench the criticisms that always flew my direction, I just could not change my core self!
When my husband came, what a different story! He was spell bound seeing a lady take charge, he was mesmerized by my audacity and would listen attentively for several minutes, sometimes hours on end to my chirping, rantings and boastings. He loved me completely. Always compliment, praise and admire me while I fell in love with the perfect gentle man. He is Melancholy/Phlegmatic, my perfect match.
I admire him a lot. He was not a compulsive talker like me, very analytical, gentle, compassionate, sacrificial, tender hearted and pure in and out. I always asked him, "won't you change later? I hope you are not being nice just to win my heart?" Oh my darling! he would just look at me with compassion and wonders why an amazing woman will think she's less deserving, "I won't change" he said simply. It's been almost thirteen years I knew him, my husband has kept every single promise he made in courtship, everything!
Those criticism affected my self esteem. I would ask him, "I'm I harsh?" Honey would look at me shocked, "Who said that? You are an amazing woman. Perfect the way you are. You are not harsh darling, you are simply principled, disciplined, strong willed and strict, that is the way God made you, it's your nature. Please, don't compromise your standard for anything." That guy seems blind! I would think. "My teeth are too big," I one day whined, "I don't like smiling."
"God!" Hubby exclaimed. He said I have perfect dentition, well set teeth that always captivate him! He said I should keep smiling because my teeth are beautiful and always send him to the orbit.
"I don't like my stature." I complained again. I've been told consistently over the years I'm too short. "For the record," hubby corrected me, "you are not too short. You are average in height and best of all, I love you the way you are, you are specially carved for me. I'm tall and do not want a tall woman, we are not going to breed giants." He smiled affectionately, "you are portable and it would be easier to carry you in marriage..." then he added jokingly, "you know, if anything like riot or war happens right now, all I can do is lift you with ease, it's easy to run that way..." I laughed out loud.
Though I was brilliant and intelligent, I still battled with low self esteem in some areas due to the negative influence of wrong friends. My husband built my self esteem. He made me an amazing woman. He made me accept, like, love and admire myself. He helps me work on my weaknesses and corrects me in love on daily basis. I love that man like mad, like crazy! I want to lay down my life for him.
The bottom line is this: marry your opposite. Marry someone who accepts and love you the way you are. Marry someone who corrects you in love, marry someone who helps you become a better person.
Do not marry a user, abuser, batterer, hater, jealous, pompous, proud, crazy and outright insane person! They will ruin your life. Let God lead you to your God ordained spouse. You will not make mistake in Jesus' name. God bless you, cheers!

© Seun Oladele.

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