Thursday, 4 October 2018

I Will Never Marry a Man of God.

This is a common saying among the women folks, especially believers in Christ. 
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Why will a young lady say this? Are men of God evil or a bad option for marriage?
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I’ve come to realize that women love comfort, intimacy, undivided or full attention and the pleasurable life while men are always go-getters or less bothered about their needs. But being a man of God does not rip a man off fulfilling his roles as a husband and a father. 
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At a point in Bill Graham’s ministry, he was a good minister but an unavailable father, one of his daughters said that. Why should that be? But he righted his wrong before he passed on to glory. 
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Why will some ladies say no to marrying men of God? A lady will utter this statement due to the following factors:
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1. How she sees some men of God behave. They way some men of God treat their wives is as if ministry is warfare. Some do not give them the attention they need. Always on ministerial tours, if not, he’s retreating away from home or he’s on a long period of fasting and prayer while the wife is yearning for attention. 
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Being a man of God does not mean you should be a poor dad or an unloving husband. Treat your wife with care and love. Love her as Christ loved the church; He never neglect the church even when Peter went a fishing, in love, He repositioned him and was patient till he became what He wanted him to be. My counsel for such men of God in this state is to seek balance.
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2. Their supposed unromantic nature. Being romantic as a man of God does not reduce your anointing, neither does it makes you carnal. There is nothing wrong in using dearing names with your wife. Don’t go overboard in pleasing God while your wife lacks the joy she deserves in the holy matrimony. She is not a church member; let no secretary or anyone get more of your attention than her.
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There’s nothing wrong in calling her during the ministerial tour, before and after ministration. It’s not a crime to sleep together on the bed when you are around; consented separation should only occur when there’s a need for a retreat.
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3. Her own carnality. Lots of young ladies in the body of Christ are carnal. Many are good actors when it comes to church activities but they lack that personal inward drive for the things of God when they are unsupervised. You can easily see them crying during worship session or were actively involved in church services, not because they love God but because they are emotional or zealous.
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Carnality does not prevent zealousness. Dear Christian lady, pay the price to be spiritual. What makes you spiritual is not the public activity you perform in the church, it has more to do with your fellowship with the Holy Spirit in your secret place.
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The only place some sisters speak in tongues is among the brethren, when the move of God is mighty and they began to feel some goose bumps sensation over them. Don’t build your walk with God on sensationalism or on emotion, build it on love, commitment and fellowship.
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4. Fears of reprisal spiritual attack. Men of God are known to be on the wanted list of the devil especially if they focus on deliverance, healing, evangelistic and pastoral ministry and the likes. This is usually true. But the God that called a man to work for Him will never leave him unprotected provided he abides in his place of calling.
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You are safe if he is a genuine man of God and not those whom hunger, men or lust for titles pushed them into the ministry. There is no attack that is too great for a man of God to overcome when his wife fully supports him. One He said shall chase a thousand and two shall chase ten thousand to flight, this is God’s promise.
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5. The burdens of ministry. Ministerial assignment is burdensome. In fact, a lazy Christian cannot be a man of God because you need capacity to cope with its workload. Lazy Christian sisters who cannot discipline themselves against sleep, pleasure and comfort will never accept a man of God as an option. 
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And the truth is this: a lazy man or woman cannot be a child of God. You need to be hard working in your walk with God before the need to work for God. It takes hard work and discipline to study the Word so that you can be approved by God and to give yourself continually to prayer. It takes hard work and commitment to gladly spend and be spent for God.
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If as a Christian lady, I do not mean church goers or carnal church members, you are still whined like a grammar phone before you do spiritual things that would make your life better, then your spirit being will be vulnerable to spiritual attacks.
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Now, why are men of God usually a no-go area when it comes to choosing whom to marry? Here’s what He made me understand.
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God has never called a man to work for Him at the detriment of his family. Take care of your family, whether you are called into full time or part time. Young man of God in the making, hear this, family comes first before ministry. Eli was successful in ministry but he failed at the home front, likewise Samuel and David. It is tragic to be a successful pastor, evangelist, apostle, teacher or prophet but become an irresponsible father or worthless husband. Make your family a priority after which ministry should follow. 
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The ignorance of the men of God is another reason why some of their wives suffer in silence due to neglect, aloneness and boredom. That a man is working for God does not mean he should be unromantic. Is it a crime for a man of God to sport with his wife like Isaac was seen doing with Rebecca? Balance and wisdom are the things you need most.
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Is God leading you to a man of God for marriage? Do you want the opinions of men or self to prevail over His will for your life?
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See, behind every successful man of God whom He is proud of, there’s a silent labour of their wives whom God will also reward as much as He rewards the man. Do not be among the ladies who do not know the purpose of their existence, especially God’s plan for their lives. Do not allow carnality to destroy His purpose for your life and in your generation. Dare to be an Esther. Be the Deborah men will run to and pattern your life with successful and purpose minded believers and not carnal Christians. 
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And to you young man of God, or men of God, dare to be a man of God with a difference. Be successful in ministry and at the home front – be a great dad and the best husband.



© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi.

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