Monday, 19 November 2018

50/50 or 100/100 Marriage?

In all relationships, there are rights and obligations. No relationship would ever thrive when a partner fails to fulfill his or her obligation. When you fulfill your obligations as an employee, your employer compensates you with a salary or bonus. But is marriage a contractual or a covenantal relationship?
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Many go into marriage with an high expectation of what their spouse must do, should they fail, they'll withdraw their own roles and the marriage continues as an endurance trek. 
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It's quite unfortunate that our mindset has be influenced by culture, religion, beliefs, philosophy or people's experiences and sadly, this has been brought into marriage. 
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When you have a mentality of "Do-this-for-me", "Before-I-do-that-for-you" in marriage, you'll never experience the kind of marriage God wanted you to enjoy. Right and obligations in marriage are mutual. 
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Commitment in marriage must also be mutual and must not be scaled. When you scale it, it becomes self-centered, conditional and noncommittal. 
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Why wait till he gives you money before you allow him to explore how beautifully and wonderfully made you are in bed? Even if she offends you, is it a crime for you to be the first to reconcile with her? 
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Some people believe that a man should love his wife more while some believe it's the wife's love that must break the scale. You can't apply cultural beliefs or human philosophy to enjoy the Genesis Two kind of marriage. All that we have in many marriages today is the Genesis Three kind of marriage. 
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Stop promoting what's not in the Bible. If you conform to this world's pattern, you won't be able to prove what is that good, perfect and acceptable will of God in your own marriage. 
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As believers, don't apply worldly principles to your marriage. You can't enjoy marriage the way God wanted you to if you adopt worldly principles. 
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Just like our model marriage (CHRIST and the CHURCH), we love Him because He loved us first. A man should model Christ in his love to his wife while the wife too should model a FAITHFUL bride in her submission to her husband. 
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When you put marriage on a scale of 50/50, 70/30 or whatever, marriage becomes a business but when it is modeled after Christ, it remains a COVENANT relationship where the two becomes ONE FLESH. After all, they are to give their all to achieve this kind of bond.
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Now that you're married or planning to be, what's your mentality for scaling rights and obligations between the husband and wife? Because the husband is the head doesn't mean he must invest much into the relationship while the wife contributes little. 
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Be it love, attention, communication, trust, respect or submission, you must mutually give your all. You can't be committed to marriage halfheartedly and expect to get the best out of it. And if you're scared of heart break, do well to marry the right person. 
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There's no 50/50 marriage before God. A man and his wife must wholly cleave to become one flesh. How can two chase ten thousand if they're torn apart by 50/50 mentality? Why won't there be infidelity when both are not equally producing warmth or the other partner is getting warmth elsewhere? 
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If you are scared of giving your all to your partner while single, prayerfully find the right one. If you're having issues giving your all as a married person, invite God, obey His principles and you'd be surprised to see how blissful your marriage would be. 
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God, give us Christian homes
Homes where the Master's will is sought 
Homes that are free from the blight of wrong 
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© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi.

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