Monday, 26 November 2018

What Kind of Love do You Express?

It's often said that you can't give what you don't have and this is absolutely true in life. 
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When it comes to expressing love, why do people say that love is wicked? Why do people say love doesn't cost a thing? Why will they say that love is crazy or it doesn't even exist? 
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All these points to the fact that there's a love that makes people experience the evil things they encounter in their relationship, yet only few have discovered the kind of love they ought to express. 
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Naturally we're born to express love but the kind of love you express or receive determines the outcome of your love experience. According to Greek philosophers, there are four types of love and three of them are peculiar to everyone on earth. They are, 
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1. Storge. C. S. Lewis, in his book, Four Loves described storge love as empathy bond. This kind of love came into being when two person found themselves together by chance, thereby causing fondness to coexist. 
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This kind of love exist naturally between parents and their children but it's limited because a child can be preferred above the other. However, this love would go into extinction if what brought two persons together are no longer sustained. 
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2. Phileo: It is also known as friendship love. Men or women in an opposite sex or same sex friendship can express this kind of love. This love exist when there is shared common values, activity and interests between two persons. 
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Husband and wife needs this love for their marriage to thrive. Marriage is more established on friendship than on any other thing. Singles can also express this love without having their fingers burnt in the relationship.
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Phileo love is not like Agape love. Some friends are good friends when the going is good but when times are bad, Phileo love will fizzle away. 
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The kind of love that was demonstrated between the friendship of David and Jonathan was deeper than Phileo. It was Agape love that made it even more deeper than the love between a man and woman. 
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However, when a relationship is not mutually defined, phileo love may end up becoming sensual. 
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3. Eros: This kind of love is sensual, carnal and sexual oriented. It is erotic love that couples need to enjoy their conjugal rights. But sadly, many singles are expressing this type of love in their relationship. 
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Any man that tells you to prove love to him with sex only wants to satisfy his erotic desire. And if a woman tells you to prove how manly you are, she wants you to satisfy her sexual appetite. 
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When a man cannot take his hands off you with the profession of love, be certain that he's erotically in love with you. And if every time she pulls down her skirt or allows you to play with her jaijana, know that she's moved by Eros love. 
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Everyone has the inherent ability to express storge, Eros and Phileo kind of love because we were born with it. 
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All these aforementioned love are not bad but there's a time and place where they're to be expressed. However, the best love that you must express which will never expose you to shame, evil and regret or it been onesided or showing favoritism is... 
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4. Agape Love. This kind of love is very rare and scarce in life. It's three distinguished qualities is that it is selfless, sacrificial and unconditional. 
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Agape love is the kind of love God expressed to mankind and that Jesus Christ also expressed to the world. If you want to enjoy your relationship with God, you must love Him with Agape love. This love is also called Divine or True Love. 
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True love or Agape love is a love that is expressed in deed and in truth. It has no hidden motive. It doesn't seek its own. It doesn't have any condition before it is expressed and it is sacrificial in nature. 
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When couples lack this kind of love, their relationship will suffer a lot. When singles express this love, they'll enjoy life and peace. 
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To make the world a better place, Agape love is needed; an absence of it is why corruption, greed, crime and social evils thrive in our society. 
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Do you express Agape love or yours is purely Storge, Eros or Phileo? You don't need God to express the first three love but you can't do without the Holy Spirit to love like God or love Him the way you ought to. 
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When the right love is expressed to you, you'll enjoy the blessings that comes with it but when the wrong one is expressed, you'll be faced with the evils that men and women do for love. 
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© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi

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